“I DON’T RALLY CONSIDER IT A MASTURBATION TOOL, SINCE IT LEANS SO FAR RIGHT, IT CAN’T EVEN PENETRATE.”

The real story, at HuffPost.

“NO MATTER HOW MUCH I DISAVOW ANY WITCHCRAFT, MOST OF THE VOTERS WOULD RATHER TAKE THEIR CHANCES GETTING LOST AT NIGHT, IN THE BACKWOODS, WHERE THEY WON’T BE CRITICIZED BY ME FOR UTILIZING A ‘HAND-HELD‘.”

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Not Missing But Found — an actual sane Republican, at All Hat No Cattle.

Billionaires Unite Against Public Education, at BuzzFlash

The Daily Show takes on the Foreclosure Crisis, at One Good Move.

“WHAT COULD BE MORE SELF-ABUSIVE … THAN ACTUALLY USING ONE’S MIND.”