“THEY SAY JESUS WALKED ON WATER, BUT IN ONLY TWO WEEKS I WENT FROM EATING A TONGUE SANDWICH AT THE CARNEGIE DELI … TO SPEAKING IN TONGUES.”

James Dobson, of Hocus-Pocus on The Family

“HELL, WE’LL TAKE ISLAMO-FASCISTS OVER NON-BELIEVERS ANY DAY OF THE WEEK. IT’S NO SECRET WHO WE HAVE MORE IN COMMON WITH … AND WHO WE SEE AS A BIGGER THREAT.”

Meanwhile, our GOP friends in Congress also get into the action ….

“AND THIS JUST IN FROM THE HILL: CITING THE GROWING THREAT FROM THE ‘FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER,’ SENATOR TOM COBURN OF OKLAHOMA HAS CALLED FOR THE RETURN OF THE INFAMOUS TERRORIST THREAT CHART, TO KEEP TABS ON ‘CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF MEATBALLS.”

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Striking similar notes are BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin with Terrorists and Their GOP Enablers Who Terrorize Us; and Norm Jenson at One Good Move with Oldskool New Atheism.

Ad Copy:

“Once you’ve dealt with screwing your constituents, don’t let erectile dysfunction get in the way. VIVA … VIAGRA! Viagra, America’s most prescribed treatment for hypocritical, sexually repressed evangelicals. Before using, ask Dr. Tom Coburn if you or your parents have enough hush money to keep your mistress and her husband quiet. Side effects may include blurred vision (never mind, you already had that), upset spouses and flushing your career away. If an erection lasts for more than four hours, that’s a good thing — at least it’ll keep you from voting to deny health insurance to working-class Americans.”

“A CHRISTIAN HOUSE OF ILL-REPUTE, DIVIDED AGAINST ITSELF, CANNOT STAND WITHOUT BEING A LAUGHINGSTOCK.”

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Lisa Casey previews an even bigger GOP Horror Show — The Republican Presidential Ticket in 2012.

P.M. Carpenter at BuzzFlash: On health-care reform, a surprising assist from Republicans.

GOP man, if you want to go down.
With a woman, with whom you don’t have a vow
GOP man, if you don’t want to leave town
There’s no need … to … fly to Buenos

GOP man, there’s a place you can go.
GOP man, where wild oats you can sow
You can stay there, and I’m sure you can pray
For salvation, and perhaps a Three-Way

It’s fun to stay at the … C Street Chalet
It’s fun to stay at the … C Street Chalet

They have everything, for you men to enjoy,
You can hang out with Christ, and use our in-house sex toys 

It’s fun to stay at the … C Street Chalet
It’s fun to stay at the … C Street Chalet

You can get yourself laid, deduct the cost of your meals,
Plot for school prayer, and to undo the New Deal

GOP man, do you seek guarantees?
That you can hide your, blatant hy-pocrisy?
GOP man, you can visit the Lord
And a  … smokin’ … Christian hot broad

It’s fun to stay at the … C Street Chalet
It’s fun to stay at the … C Street Chalet

[Editor's Note: Any resemblance between the Indian Chief and Michael Steele is purely coincidental.]

“SENATOR ENSIGN, YOU COME TO ME ON THE DAY YOU SCREWED THE WIFE OF YOUR TOP AIDE, AND YOU ASK ME TO KILL THE COMMANDMENT OF ”THOU SHALL NOT COMMIT ADULTERY?”

AlterNet with the Transcript of The Rachel Maddow Show on the Family — Washington D.C.’s “C Street House,”

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BuzzFlash with Tom Coburn as GOP Hypocrite of the Week, and Mark Karlin on Liz Cheney as Dick’s Mole in the State Department.

Norm Jenson with The Daily Show’s White Men Can’t Judge.

Dan Kurtzman with the Sonia Sotomayor Joke Round-Up.

’3 A.M. Phone Call Ad’ Wins Hillary the Presidency, of OnStar

Baseball Decrees the Steroid Age the ‘Shrunken Ball Era’

The Legend of Fred Thompson: A Politician Turned Actor Who Couldn’t Play a Candidate on TV

Evangelicals Claim Prop 8 Protects the Sanctity of Marriages Performed by Elvises in Vegas Chapels

Accused in Hate Crime Plea Bargains Down to ‘Spite’

Famed Photog Annie Leibovitz Uses Negatives to Capture McCain’s Campaign

Iraq Celebrates 5th Anniversary by Re-Gifting Democracy

Rudy Giuliani Reveals His Feet Are Two Different Sizes: a ’9′ and an ’11′

Co-Founder of Slinky Dies, After Falling Down Steps

Pollsters Admit Flaws in Methodology: ‘Exit Polls’ Conducted at Entrances

Sarah Palin Touts Her Experience as a ‘Closet Organizer’

Satirists Riot Over The New Yorker Obama Cartoon

Americans Strongly Believe in God, But One That Only Controls the Outcome of Sporting Events

Due to Snowstorm, Premature Ejaculation Clinic Operating on a 5 Minute Delay

Huckabee Declares He’s Ready to be President From ‘Day Six,’ Literally

Spitzer Scandal Spurs Call for Reform: Public Financing of Hookers

Christian Right Condemns Gay Adoption of Highways

FOX News Blames Obama for Nigerian Spam

Time-Life Issues the Definitive Collection of ‘Bush Scandals’

Sarah Palin Establishes a New ‘Crack in the WOODEN FLOOR’

Stood Up by ‘Joe the Plumber,’ McCain Campaigns with ‘Janitor in a Drum’

Iraqi Shoe Thrower Receives a ‘Seinfeld Sentence’ — Has to Serve as Bush’s Butler (and Shoeshine man)

A Sign of the Times: E*Trade Baby Leaps to Death From His Crib

McCain Claims ‘Multiple House Story’ Helps Him With Mormons

Sarah Palin Takes Phone Call from Napoleon Bonaparte

U.S. Finally Greeted as Liberators, by Wall Street

Lesson Learned: Auto Executives Make Return Trip to D.C. in Flintstones Car

An Ominous Sign for the GOP: Even Mars Turns Blue

Bush’s ‘Mission Accomplished’ Finally Realized: Iraq in Better Shape Than U.S.

Sarah Palin’s Greatest ‘Gift’ to America: Ruining Thanksgiving

Treasury Gives Bailout to Sperm Banks, to Inject Liquidity Into Frozen Markets

Blagojevich, Preparing for the Worst, Plans to Sell His Own ‘Seat’ in Jail

Conspiracy Theory of ‘Second Shoe Thrower’ Raised by Abdul-liver Stone

Bernie Madoff’s Fraud Reaches Beyond Jewish Community: Ran Pyramid Scheme in Egypt

House of Tudor Lays Claim to Vacant NY Senate Seat

Cheney Voices Concern Biden Will Diminish the ‘Vice’ in Vice Presidency

GOP Realizes Its Worst Nightmare: Black Man Elected to Lead U.S. Out of The Dark Ages

“I GOT ALL THE GAY MEN IN ONE ROOM, ASKED THEM TO STRIP DOWN, AND IF THEY WERE ABLE TO WEAR THE DOUGHNUTS I PROVIDED, I HOSED ‘EM RIGHT DOWN.”

Story at HuffPost

“UNNERSTAN’, HE’LL STILL BE GIVIN’ THE INVOCATION — HE’LL JUST BE GIVIN’ IT IN DRAG.” 

“I’M HOPING RICK WARREN WEARS MY NEW LINE — ‘EVENING GOWNS BY 9/11′.”

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BLOGWORTHIES:

Jon Perr weighs in on Warren with Obama’ Achilles Heel.

Lisa Casey on the Bush Untouchables.

Mocking Bill O’Reilly, at One Good Move.

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Lisa Casey with a Veterans Day Tribute.