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The Satirical Political Report

"The Best Political REAM
on the Internet."



September 30th, 2009

GOP Seeks to ‘Eliminate’ the Public Option for Restrooms

“THE INSURANCE COMPANY LOBBYISTS TELL US THEIR CLIENTS ARE PREPARED TO DEVELOP A SYSTEM OF PRIVATE PAY TOILETS WITH HIGH PREMIUMS, AND IF SOMEONE’S BLADDER HAPPENS TO BURST, COVERAGE WILL SIMPLY BE DENIED AS A PEE-EXISTING CONDITION.”

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The Protect Insurance Companies PSA, at One Good Move.

P.M. Carpenter at BuzzFlash: Without public financing of political campaigns, expect endless yesterdays.

September 25th, 2009

Grassley Warns Schumer: Public Option Will Lead to ‘Single Mohel Plan’

“FORGET ABOUT EIGHT DAYS FOR A BRISS, BEFORE THE ONE GOVERNMENT MOHEL GETS AROUND TO YOUR GRANDSON, HE’LL BE AS OLD AS ABRAHAM, AND HAVE TO DO IT HIMSELF.”

Abraham describes circumcision to Zed, Oh & Isaac

“Let me tell ya’, it was so painful, I would’ve preferred insurance company rescission , over self- circumcision.”

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Staying on topic, P.M. Carpenter at BuzzFlash on Another day, more Blue Dog angst.

August 24th, 2009

GOP Abandons Even Co-ops, In Favor of Chicken Coops

“WHO NEEDS SPECIALISTS OR HOSPITALS, WHEN WE CAN RETURN TO OUR AGRARIAN ROOTS, AND HAVE THE COUNTRY DOCTOR PERFORM ANESTHESIA-FREE SURGERY RIGHT THERE IN THE BARN.”

August 24th, 2009

Gang of Six to Approve Co-ops, for All Six People in their States

“WE BELIEVE THAT EACH OF OUR CONSTITUENTS IS ENTITLED TO THEIR OWN CO-OP, JUST AS THEY’RE CONSTITUTIONALLY ENTITLED TO THEIR OWN SENATOR.”

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Robert Reich at HuffPost on the small-state Senators with the big influence.