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The Satirical Political Report

"The Best Political REAM
on the Internet."



February 10th, 2009
February 9th, 2009

Who Says the GOP Ain’t ‘Cain-sians’

“WE INTEND TO SLAY  THE ECONOMY, SO IT’LL NEVER BE ABEL TO RECOVER.”

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“DON’T TAR ME WITH THE SAME BRUSH … I’M A MAVERICK McCAIN-SIAN.”

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BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin recommends a little Pain-sian economics on obstructionist GOP legislators.

Think Progress on Paul Krugman: ‘Destructive’ Centrists Eliminated 600,000 Worth of Jobs From Stimulus Package.

The Daily Show’s Weekly Recap, at One Good Move.

Juan Cole on an Iranian Obama?

Wildlife Sighting: The Rare Investigative Journalist, at Apoliticus.

February 8th, 2009
February 7th, 2009

‘Centrist Senators’ Cut Out Heart Defibrillators as ‘Non-Stimulative’

 

“BY CLUTTERING UP THIS BILL WITH LIFE-SAVING DEVICES, WE’RE JUST WORKING AGAINST OUR GOAL OF REDUCING UNEMPLOYMENT.”

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 P.M. Carpenter at BuzzFlash on The Joy of Republican Hysteria, and Madkane says: Hey Republicans, Go Filibuster Yourselves!

February 6th, 2009

GOP Senators Seek to Delay Stimulus Bill, So They Can LISTEN to the Audio Version

“MADAME PRESIDENT, I’D LIKE A CHANCE TO ACTUALLY HEAR THE BILL, SET AGAINST THE BACKGROUND OF NEW AGE MUSIC, AND THE BURNING OF AROMATIC CANDLES.”

February 6th, 2009

Centrist ‘Gang of 20′ Senators Took Instructions From Rumsfeld

Sen. Joseph I. Lieberman, I-Conn., Sen. Ben Nelson, D-Neb., and Sen. Susan Collins, R-Maine, after a meeting of Senate moderates on the economic stimulus bill being considered in the Senate on February 5, 2009

“RUMMY ADVISED THAT THE STIMULUS PACKAGE HAVE LESS MONEY THAN WAS LOOTED IN OUR FIRST WEEK OCCUPYING BAGHDAD.”

“One of the ‘knowns’ we know is that I don’t know what the fuck I’m talking about.”