“YES, YOUR HIGHNESS, I WOULD LOVE TO JOIN YOU IN HUNTING PHEASANT AND INVADING RUSSIA.”

“WHY WAIT FOR 2012 TO SHOW THAT I’M THE ONE IN CHARGE OF ‘JOE THE WORKER BEES’.”

“WE’LL BE FILING A SUIT ON BEHALF OF JOHN McCAIN, ASSERTING THAT UNDER THE ORIGINAL INTENT OF THE CONSTITUTION, THE VOTES OF AFRICAN-AMERICANS SHOULD ONLY BE COUNTED THREE-FIFTHS.”

“CHRIS, I THINK THE TEAM LOSING AFTER 60 MINUTES SHOULD BE GIVEN THE OPPORTUNITY TO HAVE ‘INSTANT REPLAY’ OF THE ENTIRE GAME.”

“BETTER GET SCALIA AND THOMAS ON THE PHONE. WE’RE GETTIN’ FLUSHED FASTER THAN JOE THE PLUMBER’S CREDIBILITY.”

Story at  Crooks & Liars.

“I HAD TO DUMP HOCKEY MOM SARAH, IN FAVOR OF MOTHER MARY, SINCE SHE’S THE ONE WHO CAN SEE JESUS ON HER BLOUSE.”

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BLOGWORTHIES:

Democratic Governors May be the Saviors of Free and Fair Elections, at BuzzFlash.

Feeling Blue in the Reddest State, at One Good Move.

Lisa Casey with a Palin Wish.

Dan Kurtzman with the Best of ’08: Top 100 Funny Pictures and Cartoons.

Madkane on An Obsessive’s Lament.

“BY THE END OF TOMORROW, ‘JOE THE PLUMBER’ WILL BE JUST ABOUT THE ONLY WORKING MAN WITH HIS HEAD UP THE CRACK OF HIS ASS.”

“NOW, I JUST TELL ‘EM, IF YOU’RE THE KIND OF PERSON THAT CAN’T DECIDE BETWEEN CHOCOLATE AND VANILLA, THEN I’M YOUR MAN.”

“YES, GOD, I CAN’T HEAR YOU, BUT I CAN FEEL YOUR DIVINE PRESENCE, AND WILL CARRY OUT YOUR WILL.”