The Satirical Political Report

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May 18th, 2009

Cheney Raises Doomsday Scenario: The ‘BACKWARDS-Ticking Time Bomb’

“IN ORDER TO AVOID OUR ADMINISTRATION’S OWN DOOMSDAY, WE HAD TO TORTURE BEFORE TIME RAN OUT … TO RE-WRITE THE HISTORY OF IRAQ’S ‘CONNECTION’ TO 9/11.”

“HURRY UP, MARTY, WE HAVE TO GO BACK IN TIME AND PREVENT DICK CHENEY’S PARENTS FROM EVER MEETING.”

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TPM on the Cheney’s Waterboarding of the truth on Al Qaeda-Iraq 

BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin on the GOP’s “Pelosi Diversion” – from the Architects of Torture and Murder: Cheney, Rumsfeld and Bush.

More on the Elephantine perversion of logic at All Hat No Cattle.

Dan Kurtzman’s The Week in Political Cartoons.

May 16th, 2009

Cheney Admits One Instance Where Torture WASN’T Necessary

“I DIDN’T EVEN HAVE TO THREATEN HIM; I JUST SAID ‘GO OUT AND PLAY, LITTLE GEORGIE,” AND HE GAVE IT ALL UP — THE POWER, AUTHORITY, AND RESPONSIBILITY OF THE OVAL OFFICE.”

May 6th, 2009

Condi Called Out on Torture, Even at S & M Convention

“AT LEAST WE KNOW WHEN WE’RE GETTING  BULLSHIT LEGAL ADVICE. AND THIS IS HOW WE DEAL WITH THE CORRUPT BASTARDS WHO GAVE IT TO US.”

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Why Do “Christians” Support Torture? — at One Good Move.

P.M. Carpenter at BuzzFlash on the sado-masochistic Specter.

Lisa Casey has a unique perspective on a possible GOP comeback.

May 5th, 2009

Condi Ignored Warnings: ‘4th Grader Determined to Strike’

Condoleezza Rice speaks to grade school students.

“HOW WAS I TO KNOW THAT A 4TH GRADER WOULD HAVE A SUPERIOR MORAL CODE AND MORE RESPECT FOR THE LAW THAN A CERTAIN STANFORD PROFESSOR OF POLITICAL SCIENCE.”

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Story here.

And GOP determined to strike at Obama’s Supreme Court nominee, at All Hat No Cattle.

April 27th, 2009

Craigslist Establishes Separate Listings for Psychopaths

“A SPOKESMAN FOR CRAIGSLIST SAID THERE ARE STILL SOME KINKS TO WORK OUT, ESPECIALLY TO ACCOMODATE THE HUGE AMOUNT OF POSTINGS FROM THE TORTURE FREAKS OF THE BUSH ADMINISTRATION.”

March 12th, 2009

Madoff, Sent to Jail, Seeks a ‘Shawshank Redemption’

“I’M PREPARED TO ASSIST THE WARDEN WITH HIS OWN PERSONAL FINANCES, MANAGE THE PRISON’S BOOKS AND RECORDS, AND COLLECT ALL THE MONEY FOR THE INMATES’ MARCH MADNESS POOL. ”

 

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BLOGWORTHIES:

Chad Rubel at BuzzFlash on Meghan McCain: New young face, but no new ideas.

Madkane: GOP Can’t Walk and Chew Gum in Arguing Obama  Can’t Walk and Chew Gum.

Bush’s Preemptive Failure, at All Hat No Cattle.

Norm Jenson with Colbert’s The Word – Rand Illusion.

Juan Cole on the gathering storm in Pakistan.

March 12th, 2009

Chris Matthews-Ari Fleischer Take Over From Jon Stewart-Jim Cramer

Arichris

“MR. FLEISCHER, SIR … HOW DO YOU DEFEND AN ADMINISTRATION THAT LIED US INTO WAR, TORTURED, WRECKED THE ECONOMY, AND POLITICIZED SCIENCE AND THE JUSTICE DEPARTMENT?”

“PRESIDENT OBAMA SHOULD THANK PRESIDENT BUSH FOR DOING SO MUCH DAMAGE TO THIS COUNTRY, THAT EVEN THE TERRORISTS FELT THERE WAS NOTHING LEFT WORTH DESTROYING.”

March 2nd, 2009

Robert Gates on The BIGGEST Difference between Obama and Bush

“OBAMA CALLS ON EVERYONE IN THE ROOM TO GET THEIR VIEWS, WHILE BUSH WAS WORKING ON MYSTERIES WITHOUT ANY CLUES.”

The MTP Video:

February 17th, 2009

Mystery Solved! Historians Explain Dubya’s Higher Ranking than W.H. Harrison

“ALTHOUGH HIS ADMINISTRATION LASTED JUST ONE SHORT MONTH, WILLIAM HENRY HARRISON DECEIVED THE AMERICAN PEOPLE, CLAIMING THAT SHAWNEE CHIEF TECUMSEH WAS TRYING TO ACQUIRE YELLOW CORN … FROM AFRICA.”

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Staying on topic, MYDD on the Presidential rankings: William Henry Harrison was robbed!

Obama’s Choice: FDR’s First 100 Days or Lincoln’s Team of Rivals – by Mark Karlin of BuzzFlash.

Speaking of ex-Presidents, William Jefferson Clinton speaks out on the Economic Crisis – at One Good Move.

Lisa Casey with more on the Blago/Burris Insanity.

Juan Cole: Iraq Funding Ponzi Scheme Bigger than Madoff’s.

February 16th, 2009

Historians: Dubya Actually THE WORST President, But ‘Ranking’ Affected by Steroids

“BUSH ACTUALLY BROKE ALL OF THE RECORDS FOR THE BIGGEST FUCK-UPS, BUT WE HAD TO DISCOUNT SOME OF HIS RECKLESS STUPIDITY DUE TO ’ROID RAGE. DON’T FORGET, HE CAME DIRECTLY OUT OF THE CULTURE OF MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL.”

Story on the C-Span Presidential Rankings.

Obama’s Choice: FDR’s First 100 Days or Lincoln’s Team of Rivals – by Mark Karlin of BuzzFlash.

Madkane asks: Obama Hasn’t Fixed Everything Yet? What’s Taking Him So Long?

Norm Jenson with the The Sunday Funnies, and Dan Kurtzman’s The Week in Political Cartoons.

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