“SINCE WE CAN’T COUNT ON GOVERNMENT TO POLICE CORPORATE CRIME, WE’RE GONNA’ TAKE MATTERS INTO OUR OWN HANDS … AND THROW BP’s OIL INTO THE SEA.“

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BuzzFlash Editor Mark Karlin on Treating BP Like People Who Commit Crimes.

BP's COO DOUG SUTTLES

“SINCE WE’VE NOW EXHAUSTED ALL OF OUR IDEAS, WE FIGURED WE’D JUST REVERT TO OUR CHILDHOOD IMAGINATION, AND HAVE THE CHINESE TUNNEL UP UNDER THE WELL FROM THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD.”

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BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin on BP’s Long History of Wreaking Worldwide Havoc.

HALLIBURTON CEO DAVE LESAR

“FROM  OIL TO GUNS TO CEMENT TO MUD — WE PRIDE  OURSELVES ON OUR ABILITY TO DIVERSIFY … IN SCREWING UP THE PLANET.”

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BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin on a Top-Kill Approach to BP Executives.

The Natural Beauty That Was Once This Country, at One Good Move.

Mad Kane’s Panning Palin.

Heard of a RIG that is, loaded with weapons
packed TIGHT and ready to BLOW
Heard of some gravesites, on the GULF WATERS
a place where WILDLIFE DON’T FLOW
The sound of COAST GUARD, off in the distance
We’re getting used to it now
TURNED an ECOSYSTEM, into a ghetto
We’ve DRILLED all over this WORLD

This ain’t no MARDI GRAS, we are a RISK CO.
Cause we’re still fooling around
This IS our Mud club, We’re G.B. SEABEES
We  got MORE time for that now

Heard about NEW ORLEANS? Heard about MIAMI?
Heard about NINTH WARD IN La.?
You oughta know not to, stand by the BEACHFRONT
somebody might see you in OIL
I got some groceries, some peanut butter
to last a couple of days
But I ain’t got no TUNA
ain’t got no SALMON
ain’t got no SOLE to FILET

This ain’t no MARDI GRAS, we are a RISK CO.
Cause we’re still fooling around
This IS our Mud club, We’re G.B. SEABEES
We  got MORE time for that now

“WE’LL  SIMPLY LET OUR CUSTOMERS DO WHAT THEY ALWAYS DO: INHALE THE TOXIC FUMES WHILE THEY DECIDE WHEN TO CUT OFF THE FLOW, AND WHETHER THEY WANT TO CLEAN THINGS UP WITH THE SQUEEGEE.”

“I SIMPLY CAN’T BLOODY FIGURE OUT WHY THE PUBLIC IS SO ANGRY ABOUT OUR NEXT SOLUTION TO MOP UP THIS MESS.”

“IT’S SIMPLY TIME TO STRING UP CAPTAIN BLIGHT.“

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BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin on “crime and punishment” of the “economy wreckers.”

Lisa Casey with the latest Sarah Palin brain spill.

“OBVIOUSLY, I’D DO NOTHING. AND WITH THAT COMES THE ADDED BENEFIT OF A WHOLE NEW PRODUCT … MR. PAUL’S OILY FISH STICKS.”

“THAT’S THE BEAUTY OF BEING A LIBERTARIAN.  I  COLLECT A GOVERNMENT CHECK, AND STILL GET TO SPEND MORE TIME WITH MY FAMILY.  AND BEST OF ALL, MY PHILOSOPHY ALLOWS ME TO TAKE CREDIT FOR THE ENSUING CHAOS.”

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P.M. Carpenter at BuzzFlash: May’s Conventional Wisdom Could be November’s Joke.

Chaos theory as practiced by BP, at All Hat No Cattle; and Mad Kane with the poetry of Oily Obstruction.

Dan Kurtzman with The Funniest Political Bumper Stickers of 2010.

“IS IT FAIR THAT JEWS, WHO REPRESENT LESS THAN TWO-TENTHS OF ONE PERCENT OF THE WORLD’S POPULATION, HAVE HANDED DOWN 100% OF THE COMMANDMENTS?”

The full Herr Buchanan/Supreme Court story, at BuzzFlash.

And too many oil men in the oil business, at All Hat No Cattle.

“THAT’S RIGHT, FIRST WE RESCUE ALL THE MARINE WILDLIFE, AND THEN WE PLUG UP THE LEAK WITH OIL EXECUTIVES, STARTING WITH DICK CHENEY HIMSELF.”

NY Times with the sad truth – on the Minerals Management Service, running roughshod over the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration.