“HERE AT THE FACTOR, WE ALL KNOW THAT THE TIDES ARE CAUSED BY GOD, BUT WE DO ACKNOWLEDGE THAT A FULL MOON MAY HAVE CAUSED DONALD TRUMP TO BAY AT THE BIRTHERS.”

Story at HuffPost.

“DON’T BELIEVE ALL THAT GARBAGE FROM THOSE EGGHEADS WHO SPEND THEIR TIME STARGAZING IN THE SANITARIUM. EVERYONE KNOWS A ‘SUPER MOON’ IS CAUSED WHEN GOD GETS SO ANGRY AT THE LIBERALS AND GAYS, THAT HE PULLS HIS PANTS DOWN AND SHOWS US WHERE HIS MOON DOES SHINE.”

“IT WASN’T EASY GETTING PAST WHITE HOUSE SECURITY, BUT I FINALLY HAVE MY PROOF THAT MR. OBAMA IS A MAN OF THE LEFT.”

“MR. PRESIDENT, FORGET ABOUT THE MOON AND THE TIDES, WHO DO YOU THINK IS TALKING INTO THE HEADSETS OF THOSE QUARTERBACKS.”

“IN LIGHT OF HIS PRIMITIVE STATE OF MIND, THE ONLY THING BRIT HUME CAN POSSIBLY BE REINCARNATED AS … IS BILL O’REILLY.”

“IT SHOULD HARDLY BE SURPRISING THAT OUR FIRST BLACK PRESIDENT IS DRAMATICALLY INCREASING THE DEFICIT OF ‘LIGHTNESS.’  SURE, IT’S JUST AN HOUR A DAY NOW, BUT MARK MY WORDS, IT’S JUST GONNA’ GET WORSE OVER THE NEXT FEW MONTHS.”

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Lisa Casey with the latest on the real Prince of Darkness.

Dan Kurtzman with Political Cartoons of the Week.

“NOW, UNLIKE THE ISRAELITES, WHO TOLD YOUR PHARAOH TO ‘LET MY PEOPLE GO,’ I’M ASKING YOU TO TAKE SOME OF OUR PEOPLE, INCLUDING O’REILLY, RUSH AND NEWT.”

“OY, THIS WOULD BE WORSE THAN THE ORIGINAL TEN PLAGUES.”

“NOW THE LIBERAL PRESS JUST HARPS ON THE FACT THAT WE SHOT THE PIRATES DEAD, BUT THE FULL STORY IS THAT WE FIRST TOWED THEM FOR FREE, ON THE BACK OF THE AMERICAN TAXPAYER.”

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Madkane weighs in with Fox Pundits At Sea.

“NOW THERE THEY WERE, AT HARLEM’S FAMED SYLVIA’S RESTAURANT, AND CAROLINE YELLS OUT: ‘MOTHERF**CKER, I WANT ANOTHER GLASS OF CHABLIS’.”

“UNNERSTAN’, HE’LL STILL BE GIVIN’ THE INVOCATION — HE’LL JUST BE GIVIN’ IT IN DRAG.” 

“I’M HOPING RICK WARREN WEARS MY NEW LINE — ‘EVENING GOWNS BY 9/11′.”

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BLOGWORTHIES:

Jon Perr weighs in on Warren with Obama’ Achilles Heel.

Lisa Casey on the Bush Untouchables.

Mocking Bill O’Reilly, at One Good Move.