The Satirical Political Report

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January 5th, 2010

Buddha Gets the Last Laugh on Brit Hume

“IN LIGHT OF HIS PRIMITIVE STATE OF MIND, THE ONLY THING BRIT HUME CAN POSSIBLY BE REINCARNATED AS … IS BILL O’REILLY.”

November 1st, 2009

FOX News Blames Obama For Loss of Daylight Savings Time

“IT SHOULD HARDLY BE SURPRISING THAT OUR FIRST BLACK PRESIDENT IS DRAMATICALLY INCREASING THE DEFICIT OF ‘LIGHTNESS.’  SURE, IT’S JUST AN HOUR A DAY NOW, BUT MARK MY WORDS, IT’S JUST GONNA’ GET WORSE OVER THE NEXT FEW MONTHS.”

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Lisa Casey with the latest on the real Prince of Darkness.

Dan Kurtzman with Political Cartoons of the Week.

June 4th, 2009

Obama in Egypt, Pulls a ‘Reverse Moses’

“NOW, UNLIKE THE ISRAELITES, WHO TOLD YOUR PHARAOH TO ‘LET MY PEOPLE GO,’ I’M ASKING YOU TO TAKE SOME OF OUR PEOPLE, INCLUDING O’REILLY, RUSH AND NEWT.”

“OY, THIS WOULD BE WORSE THAN THE ORIGINAL TEN PLAGUES.”

April 13th, 2009

Right Wingers Claim Obama Gave Pirates a ‘Free Ride’

“NOW THE LIBERAL PRESS JUST HARPS ON THE FACT THAT WE SHOT THE PIRATES DEAD, BUT THE FULL STORY IS THAT WE FIRST TOWED THEM FOR FREE, ON THE BACK OF THE AMERICAN TAXPAYER.”

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Madkane weighs in with Fox Pundits At Sea.

December 21st, 2008

Bill O’Reilly Accuses Caroline Kennedy of ‘Elitist Pandering’ in Meeting with Al Sharpton

“NOW THERE THEY WERE, AT HARLEM’S FAMED SYLVIA’S RESTAURANT, AND CAROLINE YELLS OUT: ‘MOTHERF**CKER, I WANT ANOTHER GLASS OF CHABLIS’.”

The Rev. Al Sharpton, left, and Caroline Kennedy have lunch ...

December 18th, 2008

Obama’s Exquisite Compromise on Rick Warren

“UNNERSTAN’, HE’LL STILL BE GIVIN’ THE INVOCATION — HE’LL JUST BE GIVIN’ IT IN DRAG.” 

“I’M HOPING RICK WARREN WEARS MY NEW LINE — ‘EVENING GOWNS BY 9/11′.”

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BLOGWORTHIES:

Jon Perr weighs in on Warren with Obama’ Achilles Heel.

Lisa Casey on the Bush Untouchables.

Mocking Bill O’Reilly, at One Good Move.

November 28th, 2008

Bill O’Reilly: Detroit’s Problems Due to UAW’s Bathroom Breaks

“NOT ONLY ARE THESE FIVE MINUTE BREAKS, TWICE A DAY, CAUSING LOSS OF PRODUCTIVITY, BUT THE ‘EMISSIONS’ FROM THESE BREAKS ARE THE CHIEF CAUSE OF POLLUTING THE ENVIRONMENT.”

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Countdown on the Fuzzy $70 per Hour Math, courtesy of One Good Move.

September 9th, 2008

Emboldened by MSNBC Cave-in, Right-Wingers Demand CBS Remove Edward R. Murrow From Archives

“IF MURROW HADN’T MADE HIS SCURRILOUS ATTACK ON JOE McCARTHY IN THE ’50’s, TODAY CHINA WOULD BE A U.S. PUPPET, WE’D STILL HAVE STAY-AT-HOME MOMS, AND KIDS WOULD BE EXPERIMENTING WITH HULA HOOPS INSTEAD OF DRUGS.”

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BLOGWORTHIES:

Based on the latest polls, BuzzFlash’s P.M. Carpenter laments The American Electorate: From Dingbats to Dingoes.  

Palin and Religion; Need something, just pray — at One Good Move.  (God help us!)  

Madkane’s sneak peek at Sarah Palin’s Barracuda Blog.

December 23rd, 2006

BILL O’REILLY’S TWELVE DAYS OF THE WAR ON XMAS

On the first day of the War on Christmas
My multi-cultural enemies gave to me . . .
A Muslim Congressman swearing on the Koran

On the second day of the War on Christmas
My multi-cultural enemies gave to me . . .
Two lesbian moms
And a Muslim Congressman swearing on the Koran

On the third day of the War on Christmas
My multi-cultural enemies gave to me . . .
Three French Kerrys
Two lesbian moms
And a Muslim Congressman swearing on the Koran

On the fourth day of the War on Christmas
My multi-cultural enemies gave to me . . .
Four Kwanzaa kinaras
Three French Kerrys
Two lesbian moms
And a Muslim Congressman swearing on the Koran

On the fifth day of the War on Christmas
My multi-cultural enemies gave to me . . .
Five “HAPPY HOLIDAYS!”
Four Kwanzaa kinaras
Three French Kerrys
Two lesbian moms
And a Muslim Congressman swearing on the Koran

On the sixth day of the War on Christmas
My multi-cultural enemies gave to me . . .
Six months of abortion
Five “HAPPY HOLIDAYS!”
Four Kwanzaa kinaras
Three French Kerrys
Two lesbian moms
And a Muslim Congressman swearing on the Koran

On the seventh day of the War on Christmas
My multi-cultural enemies gave to me . . .
Seven illegals swarmin‚
Six months of abortion
Five “HAPPY HOLIDAYS!”
Four Kwanzaa kinaras
Three French Kerrys
Two lesbian moms
And a Muslim Congressman swearing on the Koran

On the eighth day of the War on Christmas
My multi-cultural enemies gave to me . . .
Eight Hannukah candles
Seven illegals swarmin‚
Six months of abortion
Five “HAPPY HOLIDAYS!”
Four Kwanzaa kinaras
Three French Kerrys
Two lesbian moms
And a Muslim Congressman swearing on the Koran

On the ninth day of the War on Christmas
My multi-cultural enemies gave to me . . .
Nine gays a layin’
Eight Hannukah candles
Seven illegals swarmin‚
Six months of abortion
Five “HAPPY HOLIDAYS!”
Four Kwanzaa kinaras
Three French Kerrys
Two lesbian moms
And a Muslim Congressman swearing on the Koran

On the tenth day of the War on Christmas
My multi-cultural enemies gave to me . . .
Ten stem cell researchers
Nine gays a layin’
Eight Hannukah candles
Seven illegals swarmin‚
Six months of abortion
Five “HAPPY HOLIDAYS!”
Four Kwanzaa kinaras
Three French Kerrys
Two lesbian moms
And a Muslim Congressman swearing on the Koran

On the eleventh day of the War on Christmas
My multi-cultural enemies gave to me . . .
Eleven Darwin books from Amazon
Ten stem cell researchers
Nine gays a layin’
Eight Hannukah candles
Seven illegals swarmin‚
Six months of abortion
Five “HAPPY HOLIDAYS!”
Four Kwanzaa kinaras
Three French Kerrys
Two lesbian moms
And a Muslim Congressman swearing on the Koran

On the twelfth day of the War on Christmas
My multi-cultural enemies gave to me . . .
Twelve Keith Olbermann commentaries
Eleven Darwin books from Amazon
Ten stem cell researchers
Nine gays a layin’
Eight Hannukah candles
Seven illegals swarmin‚
Six months of abortion
Five “HAPPY HOLIDAYS!”
Four Kwanzaa kinaras
Three French Kerrys
Two lesbian moms
And a Muslim Congressman swearing on the Koran!

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By the way, I’ll be appearing on Thom Hartmann‚Äôs radio program this coming Tuesday, December 26th, at 10:30 am EST/7:30 am PST.

BLOGWORTHIES:

BuzzFlash review of satiric book: Newt Gingrich’s Bedtime Story for Orphans.

Daily Show’s “the children are the future,” via One Good Move.

‘The Decider’ Fooling Himself Again, Fires Disagreeing Generals — at Progressive Daily Beacon.

Nicole Belle at Crooks & Liars: EPA Paves Way for Zero Emission Requirements.

Blue Texan at Unclaimed Territory: What Haditha says about the warbloggers.

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