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The Satirical Political Report

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August 2nd, 2009

The GOP’s Double-Barreled Attack: Combines the ‘Birther’ and ‘Health Scare’ Tactics

“UNDER THE OBAMA HEALTH PLAN, YOU CAN EXPECT TO RECEIVE AFRICAN SPAM ASKING YOU TO SEND YOUR VITAL ORGANS TO AN ORGAN BANK, IN EXCHANGE FOR GOVERNMENT-RUN HEALTH INSURANCE.”

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BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin on the Creeping Signs of GE Intervention in MSNBC’s Progressive Programming.

Dan Kurtzman with Bill Maher Bashing the ‘Birthers’ Over Obama Birth Certificate.

July 26th, 2009

The ‘Birther Conspiracy’ Backfires on the Right-Wingers

“UNDER THIS NEW LEGISLATION, ALL RIGHT WING ‘BORN-AGAINS’ RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT WILL HAVE TO PRODUCE … TWO DIFFERENT BIRTH CERTIFICATES.”

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Norm Jenson with Bill Maher – the best New Rules ever?

Bill Moyers and Michael Winship at BuzzFlash: Obama’s Health Care Struggle — Waterloo or Water Down?

July 17th, 2009

Questions Arise Over the Vatican’s ‘Story’ of Pope’s Fall

C’MON, LARRY, IT SOUNDS PRETTY FISHY TO ME, SINCE ISN’T THE POPE SUPPOSED TO IN-FALL-IBLE?  BESIDES, DOESN’T A ‘RIGHT WRIST INJURY’ SUGGEST TO YOU THAT THE POPE WAS CELEBRATING MASTURBATION INSTEAD OF MASS?” 

May 25th, 2009

GOP Insists They Also Seek ‘Empathy’ in a Supreme Court Justice

“WE WANT SOMEONE IN THE SCALIA MOLD WHO IS EMPATHETIC TO BIG BUSINESS, THE DESTRUCTION OF CIVIL RIGHTS AND LIBERTIES, AND MOST SIGNIFICANTLY … THE ORIGINAL INTENT OF THE HUNS.”

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Norm Jenson with Howard Kurtz’s interview of Bill Maher.

Dan Kurtzman with the The Week in Political Cartoons, and  The Cheney Bunch at All Hat No Cattle.

April 5th, 2009

Cheney Charges Obama Had Meeting About WMD in Prague

“IT’S CLEAR THAT OBAMA’S EVEN MORE DANGEROUS THAN MOHAMMED ATTA, SINCE HE’S ACTUALLY TALKING ABOUT REDUCING STOCKPILES OF NUCLEAR WEAPONS.”

Huffington Post with the context: Obama’s Prague Speech on Nuclear Weapons.

P.M. Carpenter at BuzzFlash on Obama’s splendid week is subject to downward revision.

Bill Maher’s New Rules and The Sunday Funnies, at One Good Move.

March 30th, 2009

General Motors’ CEO Resigns, To Join AIG!

“AFTER OBAMA FORCED ME OUT, I DECIDED TO FOLLOW MY BUSINESS PHILOSOPHY OF ‘CREATING LEMONS OUT OF LEMONS,’ AND TO GO TO AN ORGANIZATION WHERE FAILURE IS REWARDED.”

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BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin on Rev. Moon’s Dispproportionate Influence on Big Media, and P.M. Carpenter on the “Resurrection” of Tim Geithner

Norm Jenson with the latest installments of Bill Maher’s New Rules, and The Sunday Funnies.

Lisa Casey on the Elephant in the Room.

Dan Kurtzman’s The Week in Political Cartoons.

March 22nd, 2009

Wall St. Excesses Take Ultimate Toll: Manhattan Sold Back to the Indians

In perhaps the ultimate sign that the reckless behavior of  Wall Street is exacting an “historic” toll, the Borough of Manhattan, originally purchased by the Dutch from the Indians 400 years ago, was today sold back to the same Native-American tribe.

Most shockingly, the price was also the same — $24 — although given the strength of the Indian bargaining position, they did not have to pay cash, but only toxic stockpiles of  “corn derivatives,” also known as ethanol.

Perhaps fittingly, while the seller in such transactions typically springs for the celebratory lunch, in this case, the contracting parties went ”Dutch treat.”

Although the tribe indicated that the entire island of Manhattan would be turned into one giant gambling casino, most financial experts agreed that this represented an improvement in “risk management” over the business practices of the last ten years. 

Disgraced AIG executives lost no time in shifting their focus, immediately seeking hiring bonuses from the new Native-American owners of Manhattan. One former AIG trader even claimed that he had a brand new idea for “poker chip default swaps,” to insure that there would never be any losses resulting from sub-prime gamblers.

On CNBC, Jim Cramer commented that he was “sitting bullish” about the deal, and that in addition to the gaming industry,  he was optimistic that this deal would even be able to resuscitate “Running Bear Stearns.”

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BLOGWORTHIES:

P.M. Carpenter at BuzzFlash on the Deficit Bogeyman under your bed.

Norm Jenson with The Sunday Funnies and Bill Maher’s New Rules.

Pick your poison, between Congress and AIG, at All Hat No Cattle.

Madkane’s Fume About Hume.

March 16th, 2009

A Bad Sign for Newspapers? Even ‘End Times Weekly’ to End Publication

“AS THE PUBLISHER OF THE NOW-DEFUNCT WEEKLY WISTFULLY SAID: ‘WE WERE HOPING TO STICK AROUND LONG ENOUGH TO REPORT ON THE ARMAGEDDON, NOT BE ITS LEADING INDICATOR.”

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BLOGWORTHIES:

Bill Maher on Rush the Racist, at One Good Move.

Madkane’s Go Away Already, Bushie Spinmeisters!

Entertainment Supreme, at BartCopE.

Juan Cole on the latest developments in Pakistan.

February 24th, 2009

McCain Asks Obama To Give Up The White House

 

“MR. PRESIDENT, I THINK IT WOULD BE A GREAT SIGNAL TO THE COUNTRY IF YOU AND YOUR FAMILY COULD MOVE TO ‘THE LITTLE HOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE,’ WHERE CINDY AND I COULD WAVE TO YOU AS WE FLY OVER IN OUR PRIVATE JET.”

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P.M. Carpenter at BuzzFlash on the GOP’s most curious playbook.

Bill Maher’s Back with New Rules, via One Good Move.

November 15th, 2008

Bush to World Leaders: ‘Tear Down Your MALLS’

“IT’S TIME FOR THE WORLD TO FOLLOW AMERICA’S LEAD, AND ALLOW THEIR CITIZENS THE FREEDOM TO STARVE, LIVE IN THE STREETS, AND USE THE NEW YORK TIMES FOR TOILET PAPER.”

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Mark Karlin’s reality check: The Myth of the Democratic Filibuster Proof Senate.

Bill Maher’s New Rules, at One Good Move.

Dan Kurtzman with The Week’s Best Late-Night Jokes.

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