“NO, I DID NOT HONOR YOUR DEMAND THAT I BRING YOU POLAND SPRING WATER.”

“EVERYDAY, IT’S BECOMING CLEARER TO ME THAT THE ONLY WAY TO GET THE MESSAGE OUT … IS TO HIT THE PEOPLE WITH A 4X4.”

“THIS LEGISLATION REALLY HAS SOMETHING FOR EVERYONE. EVERY U.S. CITIZEN GETS DRAFTED INTO THE ARMED FORCES AND SENT TO AFGHANISTAN, THUS PROVIDING BOTH UNIVERSAL EMPLOYMENT AND UNIVERSAL SINGLE-PAYER HEALTH INSURANCE FOR ALL.”

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BLOGWORTHIES:

BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin on the NRA Enabling the Terrorism of Gun Deaths.

Madkane’s Testy Republicans.

Dan Kurtzman’s 30 Funniest Videos of the Decade.

“BY THE TIME ANY ‘TRAITOROUS’ TWEETS IN 140 ‘CHINESE CHARACTERS’ ARE WRITTEN AND SENT, YOU’LL BE ABLE TO BUILD A NEW WALL, REPOSSESS AMERICA … AND STILL HAVE TIME TO CRUSH THE REVOLUTION.”

“WE’VE DECIDED TO GIVE THE TOP PRIZE TO BARACK OBAMA, JUST FOR NOT BEING TOM DeLAY, WHO THREATENED TO SET BACK THE ART OF DANCE TO BEFORE MAN COULD STAND ON TWO LEGS.”

“TONIGHT’S FORECAST: DON’T BELIEVE THE MULTINATIONAL CORPORATIONS ARE PISSING ON YOUR LEG; IT’S REALLY THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION CREATING THE RAIN.”

Here’s the BuzzFlash Forecast: FOX News is a Turn Off. Return the Favor.

“OK, CLASS, THIS SOCIETY SIMPLY CAN’T TOLERATE A COOL, RATIONAL, THOUGHTFUL INDIVIDUAL. SO FOR LESSON NUMBER ONE, PLEASE LEAN YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR WINDOW AND SHOUT: I’M MAD AS HELL AND I’M GOING TO TWITTER ABOUT IT.”

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Letterman Takes on Obama’s Critics, via Dan Kurtzman.

Lisa Casey on the latest Jindal common-sense swindle.

Madkane on an Email Swiped From Dick Cheney’s In-Box.

“AS SOON AS THEY ASKED FOR SASHA AND MALIA’S SWINGSET, IT WAS A CLEAR SIGN I HAD TO SAY ALL BETS ARE OFF.”

“I DARE SAY, SIR, THAT YOUR SUPPORT OF EXPANSION OF SLAVERY INTO THE TERRITORIES, SUGGESTS THAT YOU ARE STILL UNDER THE SPELL OF THE DEVIL OXYCONTIN.”

[Story at Politico.]

Lisa Casey with a recommended Obama response.

And Madkane asks about GOP Steele-Buyers’ Remorse.

“OBAMA CALLS ON EVERYONE IN THE ROOM TO GET THEIR VIEWS, WHILE BUSH WAS WORKING ON MYSTERIES WITHOUT ANY CLUES.”

The MTP Video: