“WE FIGURE THE WAY WE RUN OUR BANKS, THE AMERICAN PUBLIC IS GONNA’ END UP AS TOAST ANYWAY.”

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Don’t forget to take your daily dose of BartCop Entertainment.

“I THINK 30 DAYS BEHIND BARS, FOR EVERY THOUSAND DOLLARS ABOVE A PAY CAP, IS JUST THE KIND OF ‘BONUS’ THE AMERICAN PEOPLE WILL REALLY SUPPORT.”

[TPM Muckraker with the "Retention" story] 

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BLOGWORTHIES:

Sen. Bernie Sanders at BuzzFlash: Why Not Fire Failed Tycoons?

GOP Viagra, at All Hat No Cattle.

Stephen Colbert’s The Word – Loyal Opposition,  at One Good Move.

Madkane: The Bully Pulpit Isn’t Enough, When You’re Dealing With Bullies.

“NOW, I DON’T KNOW IF OUR STIMULUS AND BANK BAILOUT PLANS ARE GONNA’ WORK, BUT I WILL CONTINUE TO TRAVEL AROUND THIS GREAT COUNTRY … UNTIL I FIND JOBS AND HOMES FOR EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU.”

Citing ‘Change’ Over ‘Experience,’ Angry Electorate Votes to Replace God

’3 A.M. Phone Call Ad’ Wins Hillary the Presidency, of OnStar

Baseball Decrees the Steroid Age the ‘Shrunken Ball Era’

The Legend of Fred Thompson: A Politician Turned Actor Who Couldn’t Play a Candidate on TV

Evangelicals Claim Prop 8 Protects the Sanctity of Marriages Performed by Elvises in Vegas Chapels

Accused in Hate Crime Plea Bargains Down to ‘Spite’

Famed Photog Annie Leibovitz Uses Negatives to Capture McCain’s Campaign

Iraq Celebrates 5th Anniversary by Re-Gifting Democracy

Rudy Giuliani Reveals His Feet Are Two Different Sizes: a ’9′ and an ’11′

Co-Founder of Slinky Dies, After Falling Down Steps

Pollsters Admit Flaws in Methodology: ‘Exit Polls’ Conducted at Entrances

Sarah Palin Touts Her Experience as a ‘Closet Organizer’

Satirists Riot Over The New Yorker Obama Cartoon

Americans Strongly Believe in God, But One That Only Controls the Outcome of Sporting Events

Due to Snowstorm, Premature Ejaculation Clinic Operating on a 5 Minute Delay

Huckabee Declares He’s Ready to be President From ‘Day Six,’ Literally

Spitzer Scandal Spurs Call for Reform: Public Financing of Hookers

Christian Right Condemns Gay Adoption of Highways

FOX News Blames Obama for Nigerian Spam

Time-Life Issues the Definitive Collection of ‘Bush Scandals’

Sarah Palin Establishes a New ‘Crack in the WOODEN FLOOR’

Stood Up by ‘Joe the Plumber,’ McCain Campaigns with ‘Janitor in a Drum’

Iraqi Shoe Thrower Receives a ‘Seinfeld Sentence’ — Has to Serve as Bush’s Butler (and Shoeshine man)

A Sign of the Times: E*Trade Baby Leaps to Death From His Crib

McCain Claims ‘Multiple House Story’ Helps Him With Mormons

Sarah Palin Takes Phone Call from Napoleon Bonaparte

U.S. Finally Greeted as Liberators, by Wall Street

Lesson Learned: Auto Executives Make Return Trip to D.C. in Flintstones Car

An Ominous Sign for the GOP: Even Mars Turns Blue

Bush’s ‘Mission Accomplished’ Finally Realized: Iraq in Better Shape Than U.S.

Sarah Palin’s Greatest ‘Gift’ to America: Ruining Thanksgiving

Treasury Gives Bailout to Sperm Banks, to Inject Liquidity Into Frozen Markets

Blagojevich, Preparing for the Worst, Plans to Sell His Own ‘Seat’ in Jail

Conspiracy Theory of ‘Second Shoe Thrower’ Raised by Abdul-liver Stone

Bernie Madoff’s Fraud Reaches Beyond Jewish Community: Ran Pyramid Scheme in Egypt

House of Tudor Lays Claim to Vacant NY Senate Seat

Cheney Voices Concern Biden Will Diminish the ‘Vice’ in Vice Presidency

GOP Realizes Its Worst Nightmare: Black Man Elected to Lead U.S. Out of The Dark Ages

“WE’RE CONCERNED THE VIAGRA IS BEING DIVERTED TO AL QAEDA AND THE TALIBAN. IN FACT, ALTHOUGH WE HAVE REPORTS THAT BIN LADEN IS NOW STANDING OUT HORIZONTALLY AS WELL AS VERTICALLY, WE STILL CAN’T CAPTURE THE SONUVABITCH.”

Story here.

BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin on a real prescription for this country: Establish Medicare Part “E” for All Americans Under the Age of 65.

Madkane on Banks To Taxpayers: Drop Dead!

Juan Cole on Top Ten Myths about Iraq, 2008.

Your complete entertainment guide at BartCop E!

“IT WAS CLEAR THAT THE SPERM MARKETS HAD FROZEN UP, AND WE NEEDED TO INJECT SOME FLUIDITY IN ORDER TO ENSURE FUTURE GROWTH OF THE TAX BASE.” 

“WE’RE PREPARED TO ALLOW ALL UAW MEMBERS TO STAY EMPLOYED IN THE INDUSTRY, AT FULL SALARY, AS LONG AS THEY’RE WILLING TO SERVE AS CRASH TEST DUMMIES.”

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BLOGWORTHIES:

The Republican Party: A marvel of missteps, by P.M. Carpenter at BuzzFlash.

This time, “Shit happens” TO Rumsfeld, at All Hat No Cattle.

Dan Kurtzman with Political Cartoons of the Week.

“IT’S NOT ENTIRELY TRUE — WE’D ALSO LIKE TO FUCK OVER THE WHOLE COUNTRY.”

“COMPARED TO THEIR COUNTERPARTS IN THE JAPANESE PARLIAMENT, IT’S CLEAR THAT THE U.S. CONGRESS IS VASTLY OVERPAID. WITH THREE DAY WORK WEEKS, BEING OUT OF SESSION HALF THE YEAR, AND SUBSIDIZED PENSIONS AND HEALTH CARE, THE AVERAGE SENATOR MAKES ABOUT $3000 PER HOUR…. AND FOR ALL THAT, THE GOP STILL TURNS OUT SHIT AMERICANS WON’T BUY.”

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GOP Senators should listen to their constituents who want to “Buy American” –by Chad Rubel at BuzzFlash.

Daily Show’s Holiday Wrap-Up and Colbert’s A Secular Christmas, at One Good Move.

And keeping with the holiday spirit, Madkane’s Declaring War On The “War On Christmas” Whine.

                      Richard Shelby

              KUTABARE! (Drop Dead)

KUKUTABARE! / SHINETABARE! / SHINE