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The Satirical Political Report

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June 7th, 2009

Government-Owned GM to Offer Free ‘Rush-Proofing’

“AT NO COST AT ALL TO THE CONSUMER, THEIR RADIOS WILL COMPLETELY BLOCK OUT ALL THE STATIONS THAT CARRY RUSH LIMBAUGH, WHICH IS THE BIGGEST THREAT TO RUSTING YOUR BRAIN.”

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The GOP stays the course, like the train wreck it is, by P.M. Carpenter at BuzzFlash.

Dan Kurtzman’s The Week in Political Cartoons.

March 31st, 2009

GM’s New Offer: If You Lose Your Job, We’ll Give You the Job of CEO

“A SPOKESMAN FOR GM ISSUED A STATEMENT TODAY, SAYING: ‘IT’S CHEAPER FOR US TO JUST HAND YOU THIS TEMP JOB … INSTEAD OF ACTUALLY PICKING UP YOUR CAR PAYMENTS’.”

Huffington Post with the real story.

March 31st, 2009

More Change in Auto Industry: Barack the Rock Star the New Voice of OnStar

“NOW, CALM DOWN, MA’AM. I UNDERSTAND YOU LOCKED JOHN BOEHNER, ERIC CANTOR AND MITCH McCONNNELL IN YOUR CAR, BUT IF YOU WANT WHAT’S BEST FOR THE COUNTRY,  JUST WALK AWAY AND FORGET THE WHOLE THING.”

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Norm Jenson has Noam Chomsky on the Economy.

GOP “Idea Men,” at All Hat No Cattle.

March 30th, 2009

General Motors’ CEO Resigns, To Join AIG!

“AFTER OBAMA FORCED ME OUT, I DECIDED TO FOLLOW MY BUSINESS PHILOSOPHY OF ‘CREATING LEMONS OUT OF LEMONS,’ AND TO GO TO AN ORGANIZATION WHERE FAILURE IS REWARDED.”

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BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin on Rev. Moon’s Dispproportionate Influence on Big Media, and P.M. Carpenter on the “Resurrection” of Tim Geithner

Norm Jenson with the latest installments of Bill Maher’s New Rules, and The Sunday Funnies.

Lisa Casey on the Elephant in the Room.

Dan Kurtzman’s The Week in Political Cartoons.

December 28th, 2008

Your Top ‘Out of Your Head-lines’ of 2008

Citing ‘Change’ Over ‘Experience,’ Angry Electorate Votes to Replace God

’3 A.M. Phone Call Ad’ Wins Hillary the Presidency, of OnStar

Baseball Decrees the Steroid Age the ‘Shrunken Ball Era’

The Legend of Fred Thompson: A Politician Turned Actor Who Couldn’t Play a Candidate on TV

Evangelicals Claim Prop 8 Protects the Sanctity of Marriages Performed by Elvises in Vegas Chapels

Accused in Hate Crime Plea Bargains Down to ‘Spite’

Famed Photog Annie Leibovitz Uses Negatives to Capture McCain’s Campaign

Iraq Celebrates 5th Anniversary by Re-Gifting Democracy

Rudy Giuliani Reveals His Feet Are Two Different Sizes: a ’9′ and an ’11′

Co-Founder of Slinky Dies, After Falling Down Steps

Pollsters Admit Flaws in Methodology: ‘Exit Polls’ Conducted at Entrances

Sarah Palin Touts Her Experience as a ‘Closet Organizer’

Satirists Riot Over The New Yorker Obama Cartoon

Americans Strongly Believe in God, But One That Only Controls the Outcome of Sporting Events

Due to Snowstorm, Premature Ejaculation Clinic Operating on a 5 Minute Delay

Huckabee Declares He’s Ready to be President From ‘Day Six,’ Literally

Spitzer Scandal Spurs Call for Reform: Public Financing of Hookers

Christian Right Condemns Gay Adoption of Highways

FOX News Blames Obama for Nigerian Spam

Time-Life Issues the Definitive Collection of ‘Bush Scandals’

Sarah Palin Establishes a New ‘Crack in the WOODEN FLOOR’

Stood Up by ‘Joe the Plumber,’ McCain Campaigns with ‘Janitor in a Drum’

Iraqi Shoe Thrower Receives a ‘Seinfeld Sentence’ — Has to Serve as Bush’s Butler (and Shoeshine man)

A Sign of the Times: E*Trade Baby Leaps to Death From His Crib

McCain Claims ‘Multiple House Story’ Helps Him With Mormons

Sarah Palin Takes Phone Call from Napoleon Bonaparte

U.S. Finally Greeted as Liberators, by Wall Street

Lesson Learned: Auto Executives Make Return Trip to D.C. in Flintstones Car

An Ominous Sign for the GOP: Even Mars Turns Blue

Bush’s ‘Mission Accomplished’ Finally Realized: Iraq in Better Shape Than U.S.

Sarah Palin’s Greatest ‘Gift’ to America: Ruining Thanksgiving

Treasury Gives Bailout to Sperm Banks, to Inject Liquidity Into Frozen Markets

Blagojevich, Preparing for the Worst, Plans to Sell His Own ‘Seat’ in Jail

Conspiracy Theory of ‘Second Shoe Thrower’ Raised by Abdul-liver Stone

Bernie Madoff’s Fraud Reaches Beyond Jewish Community: Ran Pyramid Scheme in Egypt

House of Tudor Lays Claim to Vacant NY Senate Seat

Cheney Voices Concern Biden Will Diminish the ‘Vice’ in Vice Presidency

GOP Realizes Its Worst Nightmare: Black Man Elected to Lead U.S. Out of The Dark Ages

December 23rd, 2008

Experts Conclude Bush is Responsible for the ‘Bubble Bubble’

An independent panel of economists, historians and behavioral scientists have unanimously concluded that George W. Bush, a/k/a “The Bubble Boy,” is chiefly responsible for the “bubble bubble” that has enveloped this country for the last eight years, which has caused virtually all segments of society to live within a bubble, completely divorced from reality.

The distingushed panel, known as “The Bubble Commission,” brought to bear their expertise in studying past bubbles, including the biblical Tower of Bubble and ancient Bubbleyonia.  Its main finding was that by living in a bubble himself for his entire Administration, and by aggressively using the power of the bubble pulpit, the President has effectively created a national bubble that rivals trapped greenhouse gases as a threat to our way of life.

The Bubble Commission took pains to point out that the “bubble bubble” was not limited to self-described Wall Street “Masters of the Universe,” but also affected bubble-gum chewing waitresses, who squandered their tips on high-risk stocks, instead of saving it for bubble bath to soothe their aching bones at the end of the day.

The panel also concluded that while most people are just starting to emerge from the bubble, both Bush and Cheney appear hopelessly trapped inside, as their exit interviews plainly indicate that they don’t know how to exit the bubble.

Indeed, even the original Bubble Boy from Seinfeld, who many blame for the housing bubble, has come out with a statement that he’d risk his life and leave his own bubble, in order to burst the bubble of Bush and Cheney, who “did more damage than even the Moops who invaded Spain in the 8th Century.”

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Buzzflash with Ann Davidow on A Nation of Bubbles, and Editor Mark Karlin speaks on It’s time to ban TV ads in elections.

Juan Cole with the latest on the al-Zaidi Shoe-Throwing Incident.

Hollywood Liberal with Chris Weigant: Make Wall Street Take The Same Deal The Autoworkers Get.

December 14th, 2008

GOP Takes ‘Union Busting’ to a Whole … ‘Nother … Level

“WE’RE PREPARED TO ALLOW ALL UAW MEMBERS TO STAY EMPLOYED IN THE INDUSTRY, AT FULL SALARY, AS LONG AS THEY’RE WILLING TO SERVE AS CRASH TEST DUMMIES.”

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BLOGWORTHIES:

The Republican Party: A marvel of missteps, by P.M. Carpenter at BuzzFlash.

This time, “Shit happens” TO Rumsfeld, at All Hat No Cattle.

Dan Kurtzman with Political Cartoons of the Week.

December 13th, 2008

It’s Official: GOP Senators Favor Auto-a-ROT-icism

“IT’S NOT ENTIRELY TRUE — WE’D ALSO LIKE TO FUCK OVER THE WHOLE COUNTRY.”

December 12th, 2008

UAW to GOP Senators: YOU Should Take a Pay Cut

“COMPARED TO THEIR COUNTERPARTS IN THE JAPANESE PARLIAMENT, IT’S CLEAR THAT THE U.S. CONGRESS IS VASTLY OVERPAID. WITH THREE DAY WORK WEEKS, BEING OUT OF SESSION HALF THE YEAR, AND SUBSIDIZED PENSIONS AND HEALTH CARE, THE AVERAGE SENATOR MAKES ABOUT $3000 PER HOUR…. AND FOR ALL THAT, THE GOP STILL TURNS OUT SHIT AMERICANS WON’T BUY.”

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GOP Senators should listen to their constituents who want to “Buy American” –by Chad Rubel at BuzzFlash.

Daily Show’s Holiday Wrap-Up and Colbert’s A Secular Christmas, at One Good Move.

And keeping with the holiday spirit, Madkane’s Declaring War On The “War On Christmas” Whine.

December 12th, 2008

The Senator From YokoBAMA Sends a Message to Detroit

                      Richard Shelby

              KUTABARE! (Drop Dead)

KUKUTABARE! / SHINETABARE! / SHINE

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