“FOR GOD’S SAKE, THOSE CULTURALLY-CHALLENGED GULF STATE RESIDENTS OUGHT TO THANK ME … FOR TURNING THEIR BEACHES INTO VERITABLE MUSEUMS.”

“GOTTA’ HAVE MORE TARBALL.”

The myth of the dinosaur oil connection.

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Courageous, Fierce, Brazen: 3 Words You’ll Never Hear Applied to the Democrats in D.C.

Best of Hitchbitch, at One Good Move.

judge martin feldman

“SINCE VIRTUALLY ALL THE OIL FROM THE DINOSAURS IS NOW LOST TO THE GULF, THE ONLY CHANCE WE HAVE TO CONTINUE ‘WAR ON THE WORLD’ IS TO DRILL THE FAT MAN WHO BROADCAST ‘WAR OF THE WORLDS’.”

“IT’S A COLOGNE, THAT MAKES YOU SMELL LIKE YOU JUST CAME FROM A BP OIL-INFESTED BEACH.”

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BuzzFlash’ s Mark Karlin: Limbaugh Represents a Deep and Serious Pathology in our Society.

One Good Move with The Daily Show’s The Strife Aquatic.

“AN INDEPENDENT PANEL HAS CONCLUDED THAT GENERATIONS OF ‘BAD  TEETH’ CAN NOW BE ATTRIBUTED TO EXTREME COST-CUTTING MEASURES BY BRITISH DENTISTS … THE USE OF SEA WATER FOR DENTAL FILLINGS.”

“IF THEY WIN, WE’LL FORGO ALL CRIMINAL CHARGES AGAINST BP. IF WE WIN, THEY’LL HAVE TO GO BACK IN TIME, DEFEAT THE BOSTON TEA PARTY, AND SAVE ME FROM A TOXIC FLOW OF WASTE THAT NO ONE SEEMS ABLE TO STOP.”

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P.M. Carpenter at BuzzFlash on the Trans-Atlantic BP war: Dear Britain: Obama Doesn’t Need My Defense, But …

“THE LATEST POLL REFLECTS A VIRTUAL 50-50 SPLIT: HALF THE PUBLIC FAVORS WATERBOARDING, WHILE THE OTHER HALF APPEARS TO PREFER ”TAR BALL AND FEATHERING‘.”

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One Good Move with Indecision 2010 – Primary Victory for Women.

“THE ONLY REAL DOWNSIDE IS, THE ANCIENT CITY OF ATLANTIS ACTUALLY HAS TOUGHER REGULATORS THAN THE LOST CITY OF D.C.”

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BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin:  At The Mercy of the Global Corporations.

Lisa Casey on the BP Global Scream.

BartCopE! Mashups, featuring The Fab Four.

BP's COO DOUG SUTTLES

“SINCE WE’VE NOW EXHAUSTED ALL OF OUR IDEAS, WE FIGURED WE’D JUST REVERT TO OUR CHILDHOOD IMAGINATION, AND HAVE THE CHINESE TUNNEL UP UNDER THE WELL FROM THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD.”

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BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin on BP’s Long History of Wreaking Worldwide Havoc.

Heard of a RIG that is, loaded with weapons
packed TIGHT and ready to BLOW
Heard of some gravesites, on the GULF WATERS
a place where WILDLIFE DON’T FLOW
The sound of COAST GUARD, off in the distance
We’re getting used to it now
TURNED an ECOSYSTEM, into a ghetto
We’ve DRILLED all over this WORLD

This ain’t no MARDI GRAS, we are a RISK CO.
Cause we’re still fooling around
This IS our Mud club, We’re G.B. SEABEES
We  got MORE time for that now

Heard about NEW ORLEANS? Heard about MIAMI?
Heard about NINTH WARD IN La.?
You oughta know not to, stand by the BEACHFRONT
somebody might see you in OIL
I got some groceries, some peanut butter
to last a couple of days
But I ain’t got no TUNA
ain’t got no SALMON
ain’t got no SOLE to FILET

This ain’t no MARDI GRAS, we are a RISK CO.
Cause we’re still fooling around
This IS our Mud club, We’re G.B. SEABEES
We  got MORE time for that now

“WE’LL  SIMPLY LET OUR CUSTOMERS DO WHAT THEY ALWAYS DO: INHALE THE TOXIC FUMES WHILE THEY DECIDE WHEN TO CUT OFF THE FLOW, AND WHETHER THEY WANT TO CLEAN THINGS UP WITH THE SQUEEGEE.”