“NOW, I KNOW YOU FOLKS ARE GONNA’ THINK I’M JUST LOOKIN’ FOR TROUBLE, BUT IT’S CLEAR SARAH PALIN RESIGNED AS ALASKA’S GOVERNOR TO PARTICIPATE IN THE ‘I-DID-A-ROD’ COMPETITION.”

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Dan Kurtzman with the round-up of Sarah Palin Resignation Jokes.

“SO WE NOW EXPECT THAT A-ROD WILL NOT MISS ANY TIME AT ALL, AND ACTUALLY SMASH THE RECORD BOOKS WITH ABOUT 139 HOME RUNS THIS YEAR.”

“NOW, MS. VITO – AND BY THE WAY, YOU’RE LOOKING ESPECIALLY CUTE TODAY – CAN YOU TELL ME IF THERE’S A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE 2003 TEXAS RANGER MODEL ALEX RODRIGUEZ, AND THE NEW YORK YANKEE MODEL ALEX RODRIGUEZ FROM 2004-2008.”

“LARRY, THE NICKNAME APPEALED TO HIS FEMININE PRETTY-BOY SIDE, WHICH IS WHAT ULTIMATELY HELPED HIM HOOK UP WITH MADONNA.”