“ACCORDING TO THESE HIGHLY-CLASSIFIED DOCUMENTS, THE GOAL WAS NOT ONLY TO KEEP BIN LADEN AS FAR AWAY AS POSSIBLE FROM 72 VIRGINS, BUT TO LEAVE HIM IN A PLACE WHERE THERE WAS VIRTUALLY NO CHANCE OF INTERCOURSE IN THE AFTER-LIFE.”

“HE’LL AGREE TO SING LIKE A CANARY, AS LONG AS HE GETS HIS FREQUENT FLYER MILES, A PREMIUM HOTEL ROOM IN MIDTOWN, AND A BROADWAY MUSICAL CALLED ‘SHAHZAD‘.”

“THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION PROBABLY READ HIM HIS CARMEN MIRANDA RIGHTS EVEN BEFORE THEY FOUND OUT IF THERE WAS ANY FRUIT IN HIS LOOMS.”

“I’LL BEAT THAT  SONUVABITCH MORE TIMES THAN I’VE BEEN MARRIED,  STRANGLE HIM WITH MY SUSPENDERS, THEN LEAVE HIS LIFELESS BODY ON THE TROLLEY CAR TRACKS IN  BROOKLYN.”

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Story at HuffPost.

Tea Party Fractures at All Hat No  Cattle, and Perrspectives on Convention Program: 10 Lessons for Tea Baggers

“KEITH, IT’S SIMPLY NOT ENOUGH TO TRY THE LIKES OF CHENEY, LIMBAUGH AND BECK IN A CIVILIAN COURT.  ONLY A WAR CRIMES TRIBUNAL IS APPROPRIATE …  GIVEN THE EXISTENTIAL THREAT THEY POSE TO CIVILIZATION.”

“CHRIS, IT’S REALLY NOT SUFFICIENT FOR THE PRESIDENT TO HAVE ‘AL QAEDA SUCKS’ TATTOOED ON HIS FOREHEAD; WHAT HE SHOULD HAVE DONE IS A ‘MUSHROOM CLOUD OVER MOHAMMED’S HEAD.”

“Abdulmutallab. A-b-d-u-l-m-u-t-a-l-l-a-b. Now what do I win, a Connect-the-Dots book?”

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Misspelled Visa story, at TPM Muckraker.

And for Mashups instead of screwups, check out BartCopE!

James Dobson, of Hocus-Pocus on The Family

“HELL, WE’LL TAKE ISLAMO-FASCISTS OVER NON-BELIEVERS ANY DAY OF THE WEEK. IT’S NO SECRET WHO WE HAVE MORE IN COMMON WITH … AND WHO WE SEE AS A BIGGER THREAT.”

Meanwhile, our GOP friends in Congress also get into the action ….

“AND THIS JUST IN FROM THE HILL: CITING THE GROWING THREAT FROM THE ‘FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER,’ SENATOR TOM COBURN OF OKLAHOMA HAS CALLED FOR THE RETURN OF THE INFAMOUS TERRORIST THREAT CHART, TO KEEP TABS ON ‘CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF MEATBALLS.”

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Striking similar notes are BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin with Terrorists and Their GOP Enablers Who Terrorize Us; and Norm Jenson at One Good Move with Oldskool New Atheism.

10.  Conjugal visits by 72 virgins would severely strain resources of U.S. Marshall’s Service.

9. Federal Civil Rights laws bar anal plunging.

8. NY License Plates would suddenly read ‘JIHADMAN.’

7. Thufferin’ Thuccotash! Terrorists would have better speech therapy than Rudy.

6. 9/11 plotters would be less estranged from their families than Rudy.

5. Afraid they’ll get more media exposure than Rudy through MSNBC’s Al Qaeda Lockup.

4. Terrorists may let Bernard Kerik use their cells for secret prison trysts.

3.  Defendants could get representation by Rudy’s ‘Cousin Vinny’.”

2. Successful prosecutions would overshadow Rudy’s own 100% conviction rate against squeegee men.

1.  Since gas chamber has been abolished, Rudy would look silly witnessing executions wearing his gas mask.

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Norm Jenson with Jon Stewart’s rip of Rudy.

“I DON’T CARE IF THE OBAMA JUSTICE DEPARTMENT SEEKS THE DEATH PENALTY, THEY SIMPLY DON’T HAVE THE POWER TO PUT KSM ON DOUBLE SECRET PROBATION.”