Freedom’s just another word for, nothing left but shoes
Nothing, I mean trumped-up wars ain’t free, no no
Yeah feeling good was easy, Lord, when Cheney ’picked and choosed’
You know destroying Iraq was good enough for me
Good enough for me and my al-Maliki

Although the Yankees have already handed out almost a quarter billion dollars to pitchers C.C. Sabathia and A.J. Burnett, Yankee co-owner Hank Steinbrenner told a frenzied New York press corps that ”the latest move won’t really affect our payroll, since the Iraqi journalist personally told me he’d work for no money, just dinners.”

Steinbrenner also boasted that he had made an ingenius marketing move, since it would give the Yankees an opportunity to tap into a huge new fan base, the community of Arab-Americans and Muslims who live in the greater New York metropolitan area.  ”I’ve already asked my people to look into staging a promotional ‘Abaya Night’  – I think those things would look great in pinstripes and emblazoned with the famous NY logo.”

As far as Zaidi’s pitching skills are concerned, Steinbrenner stated that “the righthander had to work a bit on his control, but we kind of figured his head-hunting skills would come in handy in those heated games with the Red Sox.”

In related news, the ultimate Yankee fan, Rudy Giuliani, enthusiastically embraced the move, saying “I forgive al-Zaidi, at least he’s not a community organizer.” “Besides,” the former NY mayor added, “it’s not like the guy’s shoe size was a ’9′ or an ’11′.”

“AS A RESULT OF THIS INCIDENT, WE’RE PLANNING AN IMMEDIATE INVASION OF BIRKENSTOCKISTAN.”

Story and video at Crooks & Liars.