The Satirical Political Report » al franken

Newt Gingrich’s Unique Interpretation of 14th Amendment to Bash Gay Marriage

Don Davis — Mon, 09 Aug 2010 03:03:49 +0000

“HOW CAN THE� ‘EQUAL PROTECTION‘ CLAUSE POSSIBLY APPLY TO GAY MARRIAGE, WHERE THERE’S ABSOLUTELY NO CHANCE OF EVEN GETTING PREGNANT.”

The Real Newt Nonsense, at Crooks & Liars.

Lisa Casey on the GOP Party Switchers.

Liberals Agree to Consider Right-Wing Objections to ‘Future Judge Vaughn Walkers’

Don Davis — Sat, 07 Aug 2010 03:28:47 +0000

“FOR NOW ON, IN A SPIRIT OF BI-PARTISANSHIP, WE’LL AGREE TO HAVE ‘GAY RIGHTS’ ISSUES HEARD ONLY BY BI-SEXUAL JUDGES.”

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Madkane weighs in with Judge Walker�s Critics � Divorced From Reason.

Al Franken to Reprise SNL Role as Senator Paul Simon in Sotomayor Hearings

Don Davis — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 14:37:09 +0000

“NOW, JUDGE SOTOMAYOR, IF CONFIRMED, WILL YOU EXERCISE THE KIND OF JUDICIAL ‘RESTRAINT’�THAT WILL KEEP YOU FROM DRINKING A CAN OF DIET COKE IN THE PRESENCE OF JUSTICE THOMAS?”

[Here's the original and complete SNL Transcript.]

Who Says the New Haven Firefighters’ Test Wasn’t Culturally Biased?

Don Davis — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 02:42:15 +0000

While the Supreme Court made new law in ruling for the white firefighters in New Haven, the mainstream media neglected to report on just how culturally biased the written test questions actually were. Here are a few sample questions; judge for yourself:

1. The�National Hockey League Flames played in what city before moving to Calgary?

2. What length of firefighter boots are also ideal for bass fishing?�

3.�Identify the specific breed of�cow owned by�Mrs. O’Leary�that started the Great Chicago Fire.

4. In�Seinfeld, what firefighter’s job did Kramer perform in the race to save Leaping Larry’s Appliance Store?

5. What brands of white bread and mayo are favored by four out of five firehouse kitchens?

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Rebecca Freitag at BuzzFlash on Al Franken’s a Senator, No Joke. But What Kind?

More on Sanford and Sin at All Hat No Cattle.

Madkane’s Ode to Mark �Sweet Talker� Sanford.

GOP Leaders Claim Al Franken Not Fit to Serve, Based on Poor Senate Attendance Record

Don Davis — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 20:48:48 +0000

“LIKE WOODY ALLEN, AL FRANKEN IS JUST ANOTHER POINTY-HEADED LIBERAL�INTELLECTUAL JEW, BUT AT LEAST WOODY KNEW�THAT 90% OF LIFE WAS JUST SHOWING UP.”

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GOP Spends Nearly $2 Million on Norm Coleman, and Gets Al Franken, by Rebecca Freitag at BuzzFlash.

Norm Jenson with The Daily Show’s The Story of King David Mark.

Forget Specter’s Party Switch, Norm Coleman Switches Identities

Don Davis — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 23:23:06 +0000

“THAT’S RIGHT, MY NAME IS AL FRANKEN, AND I’M THE NEXT DEMOCRATIC SENATOR FROM MINNESOTA.”

Norm Coleman Declares Himself the Winner in the Iraqi Elections

Don Davis — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 17:18:43 +0000

“IT’S REALLY NO SURPRISE –�I’M SIMPLY�AWARDING TO MYSELF THE ‘ABSENTEE VOTES’ OF THE MILLIONS OF IRAQIS WHO HAD TO FLEE AFTER OUR�INVASION.”

Minnesota Senate Race: A Confident Coleman Counts on Votes from Airport Bathroom

Don Davis — Sun, 23 Nov 2008 13:14:31 +0000

“WE’RE GETTING SIGNALS�SHOWING THAT WE SHOULD BE HEAVILY FAVORED BY BOTH THE ‘STALLED’ HAND COUNTS, AND THE�FOOT COUNTS.”

The ONLY Reason Norm Coleman Has Kept it Close

Don Davis — Sun, 16 Nov 2008 21:18:00 +0000

VOTERS CONFUSED AL FRANKEN�� WITH FRANKENSTEIN!

Victoria Jackson Proves She’s Dumber Than Toonces the Cat

Don Davis — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 23:24:32 +0000

“HEY TOONCES, FIRST LET’S GO VOTE FOR McCAIN-PALIN, AND THEN WE’LL TAKE A HARD�RIGHT, RIGHT OFF�THE CLIFF.”

[Story at HuffPost.]