“AFTER OBAMA FORCED ME OUT, I DECIDED TO FOLLOW MY BUSINESS PHILOSOPHY OF ‘CREATING LEMONS OUT OF LEMONS,’ AND TO GO TO AN ORGANIZATION WHERE FAILURE IS REWARDED.”

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BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin on Rev. Moon’s Dispproportionate Influence on Big Media, and P.M. Carpenter on the “Resurrection” of Tim Geithner. 

Norm Jenson with the latest installments of Bill Maher’s New Rules, and The Sunday Funnies.

Lisa Casey on the Elephant in the Room.

Dan Kurtzman’s The Week in Political Cartoons.

“YOU C**K-S**KING, MOTHER-F***KING DOODYHEAD, YOU DESTROYED MY DADDY’S JOB AND HIS DIGNITY, AND NOW I HAVE TO WRITE THIS CLASS LETTER DEATH THREAT TO YOU WITH ONLY FOUR F***KING CRAYONS.”  

The real story here, and Chad at BuzzFlash on the AIG poster boy who sent in his resignation letter to The New York Times.

And Apoliticus on AIG’S Parallel Universe.

“OK, CLASS, THIS SOCIETY SIMPLY CAN’T TOLERATE A COOL, RATIONAL, THOUGHTFUL INDIVIDUAL. SO FOR LESSON NUMBER ONE, PLEASE LEAN YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR WINDOW AND SHOUT: I’M MAD AS HELL AND I’M GOING TO TWITTER ABOUT IT.”

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Letterman Takes on Obama’s Critics, via Dan Kurtzman.

Lisa Casey on the latest Jindal common-sense swindle.

Madkane on an Email Swiped From Dick Cheney’s In-Box.

“AS LONG AS THEY INSIST ON TAXING OUR BONUSES, WE’RE GONNA’ THROW THE TARP MONEY INTO THE EAST RIVER.”

Meg White at BuzzFlash strikes a similar chord with Tea Party Tantrums.

Lisa Casey on Buying Toxic Assets.

“WE ALSO HAD TO SUSPEND OUR INTERNET SERVICE AND SELL OUR SOAPBOX, SO IT LOOKS LIKE THE REVOLUTION WILL HAVE TO WAIT AT LEAST ANOTHER GENERATION.”

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Lisa Casey on Congressional con-plicity.

Dan Kurtzman’s The Week in Political Cartoons.

Juan Cole on Obama v. Cheney on Guantanamo, Prosecutions, Torture.

In perhaps the ultimate sign that the reckless behavior of  Wall Street is exacting an “historic” toll, the Borough of Manhattan, originally purchased by the Dutch from the Indians 400 years ago, was today sold back to the same Native-American tribe.

Most shockingly, the price was also the same — $24 — although given the strength of the Indian bargaining position, they did not have to pay cash, but only toxic stockpiles of  “corn derivatives,” also known as ethanol.

Perhaps fittingly, while the seller in such transactions typically springs for the celebratory lunch, in this case, the contracting parties went ”Dutch treat.”

Although the tribe indicated that the entire island of Manhattan would be turned into one giant gambling casino, most financial experts agreed that this represented an improvement in “risk management” over the business practices of the last ten years. 

Disgraced AIG executives lost no time in shifting their focus, immediately seeking hiring bonuses from the new Native-American owners of Manhattan. One former AIG trader even claimed that he had a brand new idea for “poker chip default swaps,” to insure that there would never be any losses resulting from sub-prime gamblers.

On CNBC, Jim Cramer commented that he was “sitting bullish” about the deal, and that in addition to the gaming industry,  he was optimistic that this deal would even be able to resuscitate “Running Bear Stearns.”

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BLOGWORTHIES:

P.M. Carpenter at BuzzFlash on the Deficit Bogeyman under your bed.

Norm Jenson with The Sunday Funnies and Bill Maher’s New Rules.

Pick your poison, between Congress and AIG, at All Hat No Cattle.

Madkane’s Fume About Hume.

“THEY DID ALL THIS DAMAGE, ALREADY SPENT THEIR BONUS MONEY, AND WORST OF ALL … THEY DON’T EVEN HAVE INSURANCE.”

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Ed Liddy is BuzzFlash’s Hypocrite of the Week  –for killing bonuses at Allstate but not at AIG.

AIG Bonus Madness, via Dan Kurtzman.

Norm Jenson with the Jon Stewart’s Bruce Springsteen Interview.

“NOW, IF I CAN JUST BE EXCUSED SO I CAN WAVE MY HAND OVER A HOT BURNING CANDLE, THAT WOULD ACTUALLY BE A GREAT RELIEF.”

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Lisa Casey’s more transaparent look at AIG’s assets.

BuzzFlash’s Meg White on another March Madness — The GOP  Race to the Bottom: O’Reilly v. Jindal.

Another vote for the Dickster … for the Evil Hall of Fame, at Think Progress.

“OF COURSE, WE’LL ALSO HAVE TO THROW IN A COUPLE OF BILLION DOLLARS, TO COMPENSATE THE ABORIGINAL TRIBES FOR THE COST OF TRYING TO CIVILIZE THESE AIG SAVAGES.”

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Lisa Casey with AIG’s latest Ad Campaign.

Meg White at BuzzFlash: AIG Bonuses are Not the Real Problem: We Need to Fire the Bastards.

Dan Kurtzman with the complete roundup of Bailout Jokes.

Samantha’s Bee Money Honey Bee, at One Good Move.