“I COULDN’T FIND ANYONE TO PULL THE TRIGGER …  UNTIL I REMEMBERED THE HATCHET MAN FROM THE ORIGINAL ‘I’M NOT A CROOK‘ ADMINISTRATION’.”

Story here.

“WE’RE FIGHTING FOR THEM OVER THERE … SO THEY DON’T COME AND LIVE OVER HERE.”

“ALRIGHT, GET THE WIKIPLUMBERS TOGETHER.  WE’LL PLANT INFORMATION TO SHOW THAT SONUVABITCH JULIAN ASSANGE IS A WICCAN, AND THEN SEND B-52 BOMBERS TO PUT WIKILEAKISTAN BACK TO THE DIAL-UP INTERNET AGE.”

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P.M. Carpenter at BuzzFlash on WikiLeaks’ Contribution to Obama’s Inevitable Choice.

Lisa Casey on the GOP Afghan line.

“THE GENERAL SAID THE PARTY CLOWN WAS A BOZO STUCK IN 1965, AND TOLD THE STRIPPER TO ‘BITE ME’.”

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BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin on Afghanistan, America’s Longest War, and the Perfect Arc of Failure.

Unfortunately, No Retirement for BP’s Generalissimo.

Dan Kurtzman with Best Political Humor of 2010 (So Far).

“THANKS, MR. HASTINGS, FOR SHARING THIS WONDERFUL NEW ‘TOBACCO’ WITH ME — IT MAKES ME FEEL AS IF MAYBE WE SHOULD SIT DOWN AND TALK WITH THE CHINESE.”

Rolling Stone's Michael Hastings

“EVEN KEITH RICHARDS HIGH ON McCHRYSTAL METH WOULD’VE BEEN ABLE TO AVOID THIS BAD OF A TRIP.”

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Terminating a Runaway General, or a Runaway War – at BuzzFlash.

The Daily Show’s McChrystal’s Balls — at One Good Move.

Revisiting McChrystal and Pat Tillman, via All Hat No Cattle.

“THE GOAL IS TO CLEAR OUT ROLLING STONE MAGAZINE, HOLD THEIR REPORTERS PRISONER AT BAGRAM AIR  BASE, AND BUILD A MILITARY FREE FROM CIVILIAN CONTROL.”

“I JUST WISH I COULD SOMEHOW GO BACK IN TIME, AND AUTHORIZE THE USE OF PRESENT-DAY WATER … FROM THE GULF OF MEXICO.”

“MAKE NO MISTAKE. OUR GOAL IS TO TRAIN AND MOTIVATE THE AFGHAN AFGHAN HOUNDS SO THAT THEY SNIFF OUT THE OPIUM POPPIES, INSTEAD OF SMOKING THEM. AND WITH ANY LUCK, WE’LL BE ABLE TO WITHDRAW OUR OWN AFGHAN HOUNDS WITHIN 49 DOG YEARS.”

“IF THERE’S ANYBODY WHO CAN RECTIFY THE EGREGIOUS MISTAKES OF THE BUSH-CHENEY ADMINISTRATION, AND ACTUALLY GET TO OSAMA BIN LADEN IN HIS HIDDEN CAVE, IT HAS TO BE MICHAELE SALAHI, WHO CAN CLAIM SHE’S MERELY ONE OF BIN LADEN‘S 49 REAL HOUSEWIVES.”

“SALAHI? A GOOD ARAB NAME, AND SHE BRINGS HER OWN CAMERA CREW. YES, SEND HER IN, MAYBE WE CAN GET OUR OWN REALITY SHOW.”

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Lisa Casey on the Real White House Party Crashers.

Jon Perr’s Perrspective: Michael Moore’s Afghanistan Letter Rewrites History of Obama Campaign.