“I WOULD ALSO TAKE THE SAME POSITION WITH A SQUIRREL, BUT IF IT WERE RUSSIAN SPIES, THAT’S WHERE I’D HAVE TO DRAW THE LINE.”

“MANY ON THE CHRISTIAN RIGHT FEEL THAT A ‘PRICK’ BEGINS AT CONCEPTION, BUT JOHN McCAIN HAS SHOWN THAT YOU CAN ACTUALLY GROW INTO ONE MUCH LATER IN LIFE.”

“THEY DON’T CALL ME ‘HOLY JOE’ FOR NOTHING. I FIGURED IF I WAS GOING TO BE A ‘BENEDICT ARNOLD’ TO HELP AN OLD, OUT-OF-TOUCH GUY WHO OPPOSES ABORTION, I MIGHT AS WELL GO FOR THE REAL ‘BENEDICT’.”