“WHAT BETTER WAY TO FIRE UP THE GOP BASE, THAN BY TAKING THE GREAT WALL OF CHINA WITH ME TO THE SOUTHERN BORDER OF THE UNITED STATES.”

“FORGET ANY ‘PARDON.’  YOU BETCHA’ I’M GONNA SLAUGHTER AND STUFF THAT TURKEY McCAIN, ALONG WITH HIS WHOLE STAFF,  SO THAT I CAN GO ON WITH MY GOBBLEDYGOOK FOR THE NEXT FOUR YEARS.” 

The Real Turkey massacre here:

“We don’t want any money — just a literal TARP to completely cover a certain un-named Governor from Alaska.”   

“AND SO, IN 2012, BLAH, BLAH BLAH ….”

            “BURN HER , SHE’S A WITCH!”

WHAT SARAH REALLY MEANT: “IF GOD IS AS UNHINGED AS I AM,  AND LEAVES THE DOOR TO THE PRESIDENCY OPEN FOR ME, I’LL HAVE A WINDOW OF OPPORTUNITY TO PERMANENTLY SHUT THE DOOR ON THE ENLIGHTENMENT.”  

“TOM, WHAT I MEANT TO SAY WAS THAT IF YOU’RE A PLUMBER MAKING OVER $250K, YOUR PURCHASES WILL BE ELIGIBLE FOR A TAX CREDIT.”

——————————————————————————

Mark Karlin on The Real America vs. the Republican Party of Intolerance.

Bill Maher’s New Rules on the Best Election Over, at One Good Move.

And Lisa Casey Provides a Sneak Preview of … 2012!

However, Hezbollah leader Sheik Nasrallah has apparently become “fed up” with the large number of idle men sitting around in cafes, watching repeats of Al Jazeera’s SportsCenter and smoking water pipes. The Sheik has therefore issued an edict to “blow up welfare as we know it.”

Nasrallah related anecdotes about a Lebanese “welfare queen” who ripped off $150,000 from a mosque, using¬†80 aliases, all ending with the name Mohammed, as well as¬†four fictional dead husbands, a clear red-flag in a culture where it is the men who have multiple spouses.¬† The “Welfare Queen” loading her hummus into a Hummer has¬†now become permanently lodged in Lebanese political folklore.

Under the new plan, alternatively known as the “Third Century Way,” or “Welfare to Warfare,” all recipients of Hezbollah handouts will be required to actually put in an 8-hour day as a terrorist. ¬†For those not physically able to fire Katyusha rockets or engage in guerrilla assaults, there are office jobs for headhunters –¬†hunting for people who will hunt for heads.

Nasrallah emphasized that the best way for the unemployed to permanently get off the welfare rolls is to volunteer as a¬†suicide bomber — “or as your President Clinton put it, ‘a second chance, not a way of life’.”

Thus, unlike¬†Western¬†welfare reform, Hezbollah’s policy is to encourage welfare mothers to have more children.

However, as far as Israel is concerned, Hezbollah’s policy still remains “end it, don’t amend it.”