“I JUST CAN’T DIAGNOSE THE VIRAL INFECTION THAT LEADS TEA TO OVERCOME THE ANTIBIOTIC OF COMMON SENSE, AND FINALLY PUT ME OUT OF COMMISSION.”

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More Election satire, at All Hat No Cattle.

“I DON’T RALLY CONSIDER IT A MASTURBATION TOOL, SINCE IT LEANS SO FAR RIGHT, IT CAN’T EVEN PENETRATE.”

The real story, at HuffPost.

“NOW, MANY PEOPLE FALSELY CLAIM THAT WE HAVE NOT ALLOWED WOMEN INTO THIS ROOM. BUT THE TRUTH IS THEY’RE ACTUALLY RIGHT HERE, WATCHING ME THROUGH A HOLE IN A SHEET.”

“MEEZ WHITMAN SAY THAT eBAY HAS POLICY OF NO SELLING BODY PARTS, BUT NO PROBLEMO WITH TRADE OF WHOLE HUMAN BEING.”

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George Lakoff at BuzzFlash, on the White House’s Need for Environmental Communication.

Madkane’s Limerick Ode To Mike Pence.

Dan Kurtzman with Obama Endorses Jon Stewart’s ‘Rally to Restore Sanity.’

“IF YOU GUYS STAY HOME AND DON’T VOTE, IT’D BE LIKE LEAVING YOUR DOOR OPEN WITH A RABID FOX ON THE LOOSE, WHO’S BEEN DRINKING STEROID-LACED TEA.”

Campaign 2010: Why You Should Vote Democratic, at BartCopE!

“IT WAS JUST MY NORMAL TENDENCY TO CONFUSE DELUSIONS WITH REALITY.”

“I WAS DOING JUST FINE IN THE DEBATE, UNTIL THE MEXICAN DIRECTOR OF THE DEBATE YELLED ‘CUT,’ AND THE MEXICAN HAIR STYLIST THEN TRIMMED MORE THAN JUST MY BANGS.”