The Satirical Political Report

"The Best Political REAM
on the Internet."



January 21st, 2009

George Bush Even Gets Rejected by ‘The Sunset’

“WE ONLY ALLOW REAL COWBOYS TO RIDE INTO US, NOT SWAGGERING IDIOTS WHO START UNNECESSARY WARS.”

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BLOGWORTHIES:

Lisa Casey on the further limitations of the fake cowboy.

The Daily Show’s Changefest ‘09  – at One Good Move.

Juan Cole on Obama’s Pledge to Withdraw from Iraq and the Iraqi Reality.

January 20th, 2009

McCain Reportedly Dissatisfied, Wants a SECOND Dinner

 

“NO, PLEASE — AS I TOLD PRESIDENT-ELECT OBAMA, SOUP IS NOT A MEAL, AND I INSISTED, AS THE PRICE OF BI-PARTISANSHIP, A SIX-COURSE DINNER AT MENDY’S.”

McCain’s Old, Jerry, He’s Old!”

January 12th, 2009

Bush Justice Dept. Busts Bill Cosby for Voter Fraud

“NOT ONLY DID MR. COSBY BRING A GROUP OF DECEASED FAMILY MEMBERS IN TO VOTE, BUT HE ALSO CAST VOTES ON BEHALF OF THE ENTIRE HUXTABLE FAMILY, THE PENN RELAY TEAM, AND SOME GUY WHO GOES BY THE NAME OF ’FAT ALBERT’.”

The Poignant Video of Bill Cosby on Meet the Press.

And Dan Kurtzman with Political Cartoons of the Week.

December 30th, 2008

Why This New Year’s is Like No Other

“FORGET THE OLD MAN GIVING WAY TO THE BABY, THIS YEAR IT’S THE MAN-CHILD GIVING WAY TO THE MAN.”

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BLOGWORTHIES:

Lisa Casey on the Backwards Christian Soldier.

And speaking of Bush-Damage, Where Was George H. W. Bush on November 22, 1963 – at BuzzFlash.

Obama: “I Agree” With Senate Dems On Not Seating Burris - at TPM Election Central.

December 28th, 2008

Your Top ‘Out of Your Head-lines’ of 2008

Citing ‘Change’ Over ‘Experience,’ Angry Electorate Votes to Replace God

‘3 A.M. Phone Call Ad’ Wins Hillary the Presidency, of OnStar

Baseball Decrees the Steroid Age the ‘Shrunken Ball Era’

The Legend of Fred Thompson: A Politician Turned Actor Who Couldn’t Play a Candidate on TV

Evangelicals Claim Prop 8 Protects the Sanctity of Marriages Performed by Elvises in Vegas Chapels

Accused in Hate Crime Plea Bargains Down to ‘Spite’

Famed Photog Annie Leibovitz Uses Negatives to Capture McCain’s Campaign

Iraq Celebrates 5th Anniversary by Re-Gifting Democracy

Rudy Giuliani Reveals His Feet Are Two Different Sizes: a ‘9′ and an ‘11′

Co-Founder of Slinky Dies, After Falling Down Steps

Pollsters Admit Flaws in Methodology: ‘Exit Polls’ Conducted at Entrances

Sarah Palin Touts Her Experience as a ‘Closet Organizer’

Satirists Riot Over The New Yorker Obama Cartoon

Americans Strongly Believe in God, But One That Only Controls the Outcome of Sporting Events

Due to Snowstorm, Premature Ejaculation Clinic Operating on a 5 Minute Delay

Huckabee Declares He’s Ready to be President From ‘Day Six,’ Literally

Spitzer Scandal Spurs Call for Reform: Public Financing of Hookers

Christian Right Condemns Gay Adoption of Highways

FOX News Blames Obama for Nigerian Spam

Time-Life Issues the Definitive Collection of ‘Bush Scandals’

Sarah Palin Establishes a New ‘Crack in the WOODEN FLOOR’

Stood Up by ‘Joe the Plumber,’ McCain Campaigns with ‘Janitor in a Drum’

Iraqi Shoe Thrower Receives a ‘Seinfeld Sentence’ — Has to Serve as Bush’s Butler (and Shoeshine man)

A Sign of the Times: E*Trade Baby Leaps to Death From His Crib

McCain Claims ‘Multiple House Story’ Helps Him With Mormons

Sarah Palin Takes Phone Call from Napoleon Bonaparte

U.S. Finally Greeted as Liberators, by Wall Street

Lesson Learned: Auto Executives Make Return Trip to D.C. in Flintstones Car

An Ominous Sign for the GOP: Even Mars Turns Blue

Bush’s ‘Mission Accomplished’ Finally Realized: Iraq in Better Shape Than U.S.

Sarah Palin’s Greatest ‘Gift’ to America: Ruining Thanksgiving

Treasury Gives Bailout to Sperm Banks, to Inject Liquidity Into Frozen Markets

Blagojevich, Preparing for the Worst, Plans to Sell His Own ‘Seat’ in Jail

Conspiracy Theory of ‘Second Shoe Thrower’ Raised by Abdul-liver Stone

Bernie Madoff’s Fraud Reaches Beyond Jewish Community: Ran Pyramid Scheme in Egypt

House of Tudor Lays Claim to Vacant NY Senate Seat

Cheney Voices Concern Biden Will Diminish the ‘Vice’ in Vice Presidency

GOP Realizes Its Worst Nightmare: Black Man Elected to Lead U.S. Out of The Dark Ages

November 25th, 2008

New Legal Theory Supports Obama’s Immediate Succession To Presidency

“WOLF, UNDER THIS ARGUMENT, BUSH AND CHENEY HAVE ALREADY DESTROYED THE CONSTITUTION, SO HOW CAN THEY POSSIBLY RELY ON THAT SAME CONSTITUTION TO CLING TO POWER?”

November 21st, 2008

Sarah Palin Gives Interview While McCain Gets Slaughtered

“FORGET ANY ‘PARDON.’  YOU BETCHA’ I’M GONNA SLAUGHTER AND STUFF THAT TURKEY McCAIN, ALONG WITH HIS WHOLE STAFF,  SO THAT I CAN GO ON WITH MY GOBBLEDYGOOK FOR THE NEXT FOUR YEARS.” 

The Real Turkey massacre here:

November 15th, 2008

GOP Governors Apply for TARP

photo

“We don’t want any money — just a literal TARP to completely cover a certain un-named Governor from Alaska.”   

November 14th, 2008

Obama Urged to Pick the ORIGINAL ‘Team of Rivals’

“LET’S FACE IT, THESE GENTLEMEN HELPED END A CIVIL WAR, WHILE IF OBAMA PICKS TOO MANY CLINTONITES, IT MIGHT JUST RE-IGNITE THE ONE WE HAD IN THE 90’s.”

November 13th, 2008

Open Mike on Jay Leno Reveals McCain’s True Feelings

 

“JAY, INSTEAD OF SARAH PALIN, I WOULDA’ BEEN BETTER OFF PICKING ONE OF THOSE DUMB BASTARDS ON ‘JAYWALK’.” 

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