Based on a leaked transcript of his recent Congressional testimony, General David Petraeus continues to claim that his affair with his biographer, Paula Broadwell, was not planned or premeditated, but was a spontaneous reaction to a sexually explicit video he watched with Ms. Broadwell.

Reacting to questions from male Senators, who were clearly more interested in ‘labia’ than Libya, the ex-CIA Chief stated that “sometimes, you think you have adequate security to defend against dangersously ’armed’  individuals, but your brain gets hijacked by your pecker and things just spin out of control.”

Following the hearing, Senator John McCain expressed skepticism, stating that “in my experience, it’s simply no accident when you show up with a rocket in your pocket.”  Senator Lindsey Graham, after extracting his nose from Senator McCain’s behind, also took General Petraeus to task, questioning whether he had done enough to protect the United States’ Missionary Position.

Senators McCain and Graham also blamed Susan Rice for General Petraeus’s affair, charging that the U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations had been directly responsible for creating Paula Broadwell’s “stalking points.”

However, Senator McCain did indicate some flexibility, stating that he would withdraw his demand to head up a special committee to further investigate this affair, “as long as the committee was chaired by an impartial expert on these matters, such as Justice Clarence Thomas.”



More GOP Hypocrisy on Benghazi, at All Hat No Cattle.