The Satirical Political Report

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October 28th, 2012

GOP Now Endorses Hurricane Sandy!

“AS LONG AS IT EVEN REMOTELY LOOKS LIKE A FETUS, WE DON’T CARE HOW MUCH LIFE IT MAY ACTUALLY TAKE.”

October 25th, 2012

Tape of GOP Primary Debate Reveals Romney’s VOW to Bullshit

“RAISE YOUR HAND IF YOU WOULD OPPOSE EVEN 1 GRAIN OF TRUTH … FOR EVERY 10 TONS OF BULLSHIT.”

October 23rd, 2012

Even After Being ‘Schooled’ By Obama, Romney Still Doesn’t ‘Get Smart’

“WOULD YOU BELIEVE THAT OUR NAVY IS NOW EVEN SMALLER … THAN TWO COPS IN A ROWBOAT.”

October 23rd, 2012

Romney Exchanges John Bolton For ‘John Lennon’ in Foreign Policy Debate

“NOW BOB, WITH RESPECT TO ALL OF THESE WORLD PROBLEMS …  ALL WE ARE SAAAAYING, IS GIVE PEACE A CHANCE.”

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In a similar vein, Mark Karlin has the Mittster’s 60′s Avoidance of Military Service While He Supported Vietnam, and Mad Kane has Mitt Romney’s Final Debate Message (Limerick).

More Final Debate Humor at All Hat No Cattle.

Recommended Reads, at BartCopE!

October 21st, 2012

Final Debate To Use NFL Model For Instant Fact-Checking

“AFTER FURTHER REVIEW, MITT ROMNEY JUST CONTRADICTED EVERYTHING HE EVER SAID, AND IS BEING EJECTED FOR PERSONALLY FOULING THE ENTIRE DEBATE  STAGE.”

October 19th, 2012

Will Candy Crowley Make a Cameo at The Foreign Policy Debate?

“GOVERNOR ROMNEY, ARE YOU NOW SAYING THAT AT THE LAST DEBATE, YOU DIDN’T SAY THAT PRESIDENT OBAMA DIDN’T SAY ‘ACT OF TERROR’  THE DAY AFTER IN THE ROSE GARDEN?

“HOLD ON A MINUTE, BOB, I WAS THERE AND I KNOW THAT ROMNEY IS LYING HIS ASS OFF.”

October 17th, 2012

Why Romney’s ‘Binders Full of Women’ Remark Will Hurt Him with MEN!

I THOUGHT I HAD THE ULTIMATE BLACK BOOK IN MASSACHUSETTS, BUT THIS RICH SONUVABITCH HAD WHOLE BINDERS FULL OF WOMEN.”

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The new ‘Binders’ website here.

October 16th, 2012

Romney Campaign Cries ‘Foul’ Over New Special Effects For Debate Telecast

“TO HIGHLIGHT GOVERNOR ROMNEY’S SHIFTING POSITIONS, WE MAY SHOW A SPLIT SCREEN WITH HIM ON BOTH SIDES, OR PERHAPS THE PROVERBIAL DEVIL AND ANGEL PERCHED ON EACH OF HIS SHOULDERS.”

October 15th, 2012

The Top 5 Debate Zingers for Obama to Hit Romney With

1. When we flipped a coin for who goes first, the Governor actually called both “heads” and “tails.” 
 
2. How come it’s the whitest whiteguy who’s like the box of chocolates: You never know what you’re gonna get when you open up  Mitt Romney.
 
3. The Governor’s now backed off his plan to completely defund Sesame Street. Now he just wants to kick Oscar out of the garbage can, and fire The Count, the one character who knows his tax cuts don’t add up.
 
4.  Mitt Romney apparantly now believes in a woman’s right to choose …  in the last trimester of a Presidential Election.
 
5. If the Governor put his mouth where his money is, it would be the Swiss and Cayman Islanders who had to worry about him running their countries.   
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Romney’s “Test of Leadership”: Getting His Ass Kicked in Massachusetts, by Mark Karlin, Editor of Buzzflash at Truthout;  and
The AWOL Governor, at All Hat No Cattle.

October 13th, 2012

Report: Obama To ‘Over-Compensate’ in Next Debate, By Playing the Dozens!

If you wanna play The Dozens

Well, The Dozens is a game,

But the way you’ll fuck the Country

Is a Goddamn shame . . . .

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Thank you, George Carlin, we could really use you now!

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