The Satirical Political Report

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July 31st, 2012

Romney Knocks Obamacare, But Praises ‘Golda Meir-Yitzhak Shamir Care’

“PERHAPS IT’S JUST THE CULTURE OF THE ISRAELIS, BUT WHEN GOVERNMENT PAYS FOR ALL CIRCUMCISIONS, IT’S SETS A PERFECT  EXAMPLE FOR CUTTING WASTE.”

Story at Salon.

July 29th, 2012

Romney Outdoes His British Gaffe With Insult in Israel

“I JUST HOPE THE JEWISH PEOPLE ARE NOW MORE PREPARED TO DEFEND THEMSELVES THAN THEIR ANCESTORS, THE MACCABEES, WHO KINDA’ LUCKED OUT WITH JUST ONE DAY’S WORTH OF OIL.”

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Romney’s Olympic Blunder Fully Explained, at All Hat No Cattle.

July 28th, 2012

To Defend Dressage Horse, Romney Hides Behind Grandma Manya

“WHEN I WAS A LITTLE GIRL IN THE GARDEN OF EDEN IN MISSOURI, WE ALL HAD DRESSAGE PONIES. MY SISTER HAD DRESSAGE PONY, MY COUSIN HAD DRESSAGE PONY … SO WHAT’S WRONG WITH THAT?”


July 26th, 2012

Romney Surpasses Olympics Gaffe With Even Greater Stupidity

1. Complains that the 4 o’clock tea and crumpets taste like they came from Seven Eleven

2. Asks the Queen if she puts her Corgis on the Roof of Royal Carriage

3. Asks which of the Beatles crossed Abbey Road in Mom Jeans

4. Mittster of Silly Talks Schedules Meeting With Minister of Silly Walks

5. Tells Londoner his teeth would be even worse under Obamacare.

July 26th, 2012

Romney’s Latest Claim: Obama Denies Individuals Can Build Their Own SimCity

 

“UNLIKE THE PRESIDENT, WHO’S COMPLETELY FOREIGN TO SIMCITY, I KNOW WHAT IT’S LIKE TO LIVE IN  A COMPLETELY ARTIFICIAL WORLD.”

July 24th, 2012

Romney’s Latest Attack Blames Obama For Bad 80′s Music

“NOW ACCORDING TO BARACK OBAMA, WE BUILT OUR CITIES ON ROCK AND ROLL, WHEN WE REALLY KNOW THEY WERE CONSTRUCTED BY SMALL BUSINESSMEN SINGING RELIGIOUS HYMNS.”

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Lisa Casey on the Tea Party Attack on McCain.

Recommended Reads at BartCopE!

Mad Kane on Mitt’s Tithing-Schmithing.

July 23rd, 2012

Who Says Dems Are Not Prepared to Take On NRA?

AS A WAY TO FIGHT THE NRA, WE’RE FORMING A GUN CONTROL CLUB. AND THE FIRST RULE OF  GUN CONTROL CLUB IS …  YOU DON’T TALK ABOUT GUN CONTROL CLUB!”

July 22nd, 2012

NRA’s Response To Aurora Shooting: Make The Second Amendment The First Amendment

“WHILE WE ALL KNOW YOU CAN’T SHOUT FIRE IN A CROWDED MOVIE THEATRE,  THE CONSTITUTION CLEARLY PROTECTS THE RIGHT OF AMERICANS TO SHOOT FIRE IN A CROWDED MOVIE THEATRE.”

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BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin on Gun Violence and Our Dark Underside.

July 17th, 2012

Mitt’s Latest Story on Tax Returns: ‘I Take The Standard Deduction’

“I KNOW IT’S HARD TO BELIEVE, BUT I PAY THE SAME EXACT TAX AS STANDARD OIL IN 1907 — BEFORE THERE WAS EVEN A CORPORATE INCOME TAX.”

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Will Durst at BuzzFlash on The “We Don’t Care, Less Care For You, Couldn’t Care Less” Party.

Lisa Casey on Romney’s “Fine Whine.”

More Mitt snit links at BartCopE!

July 16th, 2012

Romney Attacks Teresa Heinz on Taxes, Then Ups The Ante!

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“Ya know, Teresa Heinz was asked to release all 57 varieties of her products, but all I ever saw was just the same damn bottle of ketchup.”

Story here.

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