The Satirical Political Report

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June 30th, 2012

Memo To Supreme Court Conservatives: You SURE Government Never Regulates Inactivity?

“THERE I WAS, OVER 40 YEARS AGO, JUST SITTING ON MY COUCH DOING NOTHING, WHEN I GOT THIS NOTICE IN THE MAIL. NEXT THING YA’ KNOW, I’M SITTING IN A RICE PADDY IN FREAKIN’ VIETNAM!”

June 28th, 2012

Why Clarence Thomas Is Devastated by Health Care Ruling

WHILE THAT TRAITOR JOHN ROBERTS SAID THE GOVERNMENT CAN’T REGULATE MY INACTIVITY — AND MAKE ME DO ANY WORK AT THE COURT — THEY CAN STILL TAX ALL THE MONEY I TAKE FOR DOING ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.”

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BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin on Healthcare Reform That Benefits the 99%.

June 27th, 2012

Romney Vows To ‘Offshore’ The Washington Post

“IN THIS CASE I’M TALKING OFFSHORE LITERALLY– WHERE THIS NEWSPAPER CAN REALLY SEEK OUT WATERGATES TO THEIR HEART’S CONTENT.”

Story here.

June 25th, 2012

Is Scalia’s Extremism Holding Up Health Care Ruling?

“ACCORDING TO COURT INSIDERS, EVEN JUSTICES ROBERTS AND ALITO ARE FREAKED OUT BY SCALIA’S OPINION, WHICH WOULD NOT ONLY CANCEL HEALTH INSURANCE FOR ALL COLLEGE GRADS STILL ON THEIR PARENTS’ PLANS, BUT WOULD ALSO FORCE THEM TO GIVE BACK ALL BLOOD AND ORGAN DONATIONS.”

June 23rd, 2012

Has Romney Now ‘Liberalized’ His Nightmare Dream Act Proposal?

“NOT ONLY WILL WE ALLOW YOUNG PEOPLE TO STAY IN THIS COUNTRY IF THEY JOIN THE MILITARY, BUT THEY’LL AVOID DEPORTATION IF THEY JOIN PRIVATE EQUITY FIRMS THAT CONCENTRATE ON EXPORTATION OF JOBS TO MEXICO.”

June 22nd, 2012

Has Romney Just Undercut GOP Witch-Hunt Against Eric Holder?

“NOW, WHEN I’M PRESIDENT, I’LL GIVE A WHOLE NEW MEANING TO ‘EXECUTIVE PRIVILEGE‘ — NOT ONLY FOR MYSELF, BUT FOR ALL THE CEOS IN AMERICA.”

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Speaking of privilege, BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin on the GOP’s  Race- Baiting War on Food Stamps, and Madkane on Mitt’s own Wawa-Gate.

Recommended Reads, at BartCopE!

June 19th, 2012

What Would Sigmund Freud Say About Mitt Romney?

“THE SONUVABITCH IS SO REPRESSED, HE CAN’T EVEN ACT OUT ANY DREAMS ABOUT THE DREAM ACT.”

June 17th, 2012

Have Dems Finally Figured Out How to Rain on Sheldon Adelson’s Parade?

TAKE IT EASY, RAY, ONCE WE BANKRUPT THIS MOTHERFUCKER, AND RE-ELECT OBAMA, WE’LL ALL HAVE A CHANCE TO GET BACK TO  THE ‘PEOPLE’S COURT‘.”

June 15th, 2012

Obama’s Missed ‘Comeback’ to Right-Wing Heckler

NOW I DON’T COME TO DOWN TO WHERE YOU WORK, AT THE DAILY CALLER , AND KNOCK THE CROCK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH.”

June 12th, 2012

Romney Explains Why Colorado, N. Mexico Need Fewer Firefighters

“AS PRESIDENT, ALL I’D HAVE TO DO TO PUT OUT THESE WILDFIRES, IS PISS ON THOSE STATES, AND THEN TELL THEM IT’S RAINING!”

Story here.

Mark Karlin on The Occupy Movement and a New American Progressive Revolution.

Lisa Casey with a Round-Up of the Latest Republican Shenanigans.

Recommended Reads at BartCopE!

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