The Satirical Political Report

"The Best Political REAM
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May 29th, 2012

Donald Trump Finally Reveals His ‘Secret Source’ On Obama’s Birth

“LOOK, I’M A SMART GUY, BUT DON’T JUST TAKE IT FROM ME. I ACTUALLY GOT THIS FROM NO LESS A GENUINE AMERICAN ICON THAN ELVIS HIMSELF.”

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Lisa Casey with Romney warns of a weakened military under Obama.

BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin on Protests in Quebec for Freedom of Speech Against Oppressive Government.

Paul Krugman on The New Political Correctness, and Other Recommended Reads at BartCopE!

May 26th, 2012

Need Any More Proof Elizabeth Warren is Part Native American?

“JUST TODAY WE LEARNED THAT ELIZABETH WARREN’S GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GRANDMOTHER, ACTUALLY TRIED TO PREVENT THE INDIANS FROM GETTING RIPPED OFF ON THAT INFAMOUS DEAL FOR MANHATTAN, BUT WAS THWARTED BY THE  DUTCH LEADER, PETER VAN DER FILIBUSTER.”

May 25th, 2012

Bain Capital’s Latest Deal Embarrasses Romney

ACCORDING TO A BAIN SPOKESPERSON, THEY’RE TAKING OVER THE ETCH-A-SKETCH MANUFACTURING PLANT IN CHINA,  MOVING IT BACK TO THE UNITED STATES FOR A YEAR, AND THEN PLAN TO SELL OFF THE ‘ETCH’ AND ‘SKETCH’ SEPARATELY, WHILE ERASING ALL THE EMPLOYEES. “

May 22nd, 2012

Cory Booker’s Ultimate Penance: Appears in Obama’s Bain Commercial

AS A DIRECT RESULT OF BAIN  CAPITAL, I LOST ALMOST EVERYTHING: MY CREDIBILITY, MY DIGNITY, AND EVEN MY ABILITY TO PRODUCE STEEL BALLS.”

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More on the Bain controversy at All Hat No Cattle.

BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin: Fed up With Advocates of Charter Schools and Vouchers.

Recommended Reads at BartCopE!

May 20th, 2012

Was Chris Matthews Right? Is Romney Really a Conehead?

“AS SOON AS I LAND AT THE WHITE HOUSE ON MY AIRCRAFT FROM FRANCE, I’M GOING TO PROPOSE CONSUMING MASS QUANTITIES OF TAX-CUTS, AND REPLACING OBAMACARE WITH GAMES OF RING TOSS.”

Story here.

May 19th, 2012

Romney’s Latest Lie: ‘I Was In The Graduate’

“IN ONE SCENE I WAS TOLD: THERE’S A GREAT FUTURE FOR ME IN ACTING PLASTIC.”

May 15th, 2012

Romney Vows To Put Out ‘Prairie Fire Debt’ With ‘Prairie Dogs’

“AFTER JUST A FEW MONTHS WITH ME AS PRESIDENT, YOU’LL FEEL LIKE YOU ALWAYS HAVE THE CRAP BEING BEATEN OUT OF YOU.”

Story here.

May 13th, 2012

Mitt Romney Weighs In On Time Magazine’s Breast-Feeding Cover

“I HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH SOMEONE, EVEN AT AN ADVANCED AGE, SUCKING UP IN ORDER TO ENSURE THEIR SURVIVAL … I JUST SUGGEST THAT THIS YOUNG MAN FOLLOW MY EXAMPLE AND SWITCH FROM THE LEFT TEAT TO THE RIGHT.”

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Did Dubya offfer Mitt a dry teat? — at All Hat No Cattle.

May 12th, 2012

Joe Biden Does It Again! Puts Obama on the G-Spot

“Now, everybody knows I love Amtrak. But what they may not know, is like Fellini, my favorite part is when the train goes through the tunnel.”

May 11th, 2012

Romney Softens ‘Gay Stance’: Endorses ‘Separate But Equal’ Marriage

“OK, OK, THEY CAN GET MARRIED, BUT AFTER THE CEREMONY, INSTEAD OF A LIMO, THEY HAVE TO RIDE IN THE BACK OF A BUS.”


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