The Satirical Political Report

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October 30th, 2011

Did Romney Refute Charge He Has No Core?

“THE NOTION THAT I HAVE NO CORE IS UTTERLY RIDICULOUS. AS A GOVERNOR, I USED TO HAVE THE CORE OF A GREEN GRANNY SMITH; NOW I HAVE THE CORE OF A RED McINTOSH.”

Story here.

October 26th, 2011

Report: Herman Cain Chief of Staff Was Smoking Weed

“IF YOU WANT TO FOLLOW MY LEAD AND GET ON THE HERMAN CAIN BANDWAGON, YOU HAVE TO FIRST REALLY GET FUCKED UP.”

October 24th, 2011

GOP Field Defined: Flip-Flopping Mormon vs. Flipped-Out Morons

WHO WOULD’VE THUNK IT- THE GUY WITH THE CRAZY UNDERWEAR MAY BE THE ONLY ONE WHO’S NOT CERTIFIABLY INSANE.”

 

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The Real Obama Record, and other links at BArt CopE!

Lisa Casey on the Un-entitlements.

Madkane’s Limerick Ode To Villainous Mitch McConnell.

October 23rd, 2011

Herman Cain’s 9-9-9 Plan Appears to Have ’9 Lives’

“NOW IF YOU A CAT, YOU’LL DO FINE UNDER MY PLAN, NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES I CHANGE IT. IF YOU A PATHETIC POOR PERSON WHO’S  FAILED TO MAKE MILLIONS, YOUR NINE LIVES ARE JUST ABOUT UP.”

October 21st, 2011

Shocking Revelation: The REAL Reason Marco Rubio’s Parents Left Cuba

“ACCORDING TO THEIR ORIGINAL IMMIGRATION PAPERS, ALTHOUGH THEY WERE BIG BATISTA FOLLOWERS, RUBIO’S PARENTS LEFT CUBA TO FOLLOW A LIFELONG DREAM: TO GET INTO THE ACT AT THE COPACABANA WITH RICKY AND LUCY.”

October 20th, 2011

Herman Cain, After Mis-Step, Introduces 9-9-9 Plan For Abortion

“NOT ONLY DO WOMEN HAVE TO CARRY EVERY FETUS FOR A FULL 9 MONTH TERM, BUT SHE ALSO HAS TO PAY A 999%  SALES TAX ON ALL FORMS OF CONTRACEPTION AND BIRTH CONTROL SERVICES.”

Story here.

Buzzflash’s Mark Karlin: Time to Move from Occupy Wall Street to Prosecute Wall Street.

Lisa Casey on Not-So-Sweet Alabama.

October 19th, 2011

NY Times: Deficit Panel Has Attention Deficit Order

“LOOKS LIKE WE CAN’T EVEN AGREE ON WHETHER TO RAISE OR CUT OUR DAILY DOSE OF RITALIN.”

Story here.

October 18th, 2011

Herman Cain Backs Off Electrified Fence, Goes With 9-9-9 Plan for Immigration

“EVERYONE KNOWS I WAS JUST JOKING ABOUT ELECTROCUTING ILLEGALS —  I THINK IT’S SUFFICIENT TO JUST GIVE THEM A MINOR SHOCK WITH THREE 9-VOLT BATTERIES APPLIED TO THEIR PRIVATE PARTS.”

October 17th, 2011

Herman Cain’s ‘Bank Branch Economist’ Adds Toasters To 9-9-9 Plan

“I SAID, ‘LOOK HERMAN, SINCE THE PLAN IS GONNA TURN THE POOR AND MIDDLE CLASS INTO TOAST ANYWAY, WE MIGHT AS WELL GIVE THEM A PUSH IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION.”

October 16th, 2011

Wall Street Seeks Potential Bailout for Campaign Donations to Romney

“ACCORDING TO AN UNNAMED SPOKESMAN FOR A LEADING HEDGE FUND, ‘WE WANT  TO HEDGE OUR BETS IF ROMNEY TANKS, SO THAT THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT REIMBURSES US IF OUR INVESTMENT IN MITT TURNS OUT TO BE TOXIC WASTE’.”

Story here.

And great entertainment and links as always by Marty at BartCopE!

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