“OK, JUST TO PROVE I’VE BEEN HERE BEFORE, THERE’S JOHN BOEHNER, WHOSE BRAIN WAS FRIED BY FALLING ASLEEP IN A TANNING SALON. AND THERE’S ERIC CANTOR, WHO ALWAYS QUIT AND TOOK HIS BALL HOME AS EARLY AS AGE NINE. AND THAT WEIRD LOOKING DUDE GNAWING ON LETTUCE … THAT’S MITCH McCONNELL, WHO ONLY ENDED UP HERE BY CRAWLING OUT OF A SWAMP.”

Story here.

“I SIMPLY SAID, ‘JOHN, IF YOU AGREE TO ANY TAX INCREASES, I’LL MAKE DAMN SURE THE BIGGEST HIKES ARE ON CIGARETTES, TANNING SALONS, AND KLEENEX’.”

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Who Knew? Mark Twain knew Dick Cheney? – At All Hat No Cattle.

Great links and guide to entertainment, at BartCopE!

“WHY WASTE TIME AND EXPENSE INTERCEPTING REAL CELL-PHONE MESSAGES … WHEN WE CAN SIMPLY SELL OUR OWN PHONY MESSAGES.”

ACCORDING TO THE OFFICIAL TRANSCRIPT OF THE MURDOCH MESSAGE, HE STATES: “WHY WOULDN’T I APPROVE “NEWS OF THE WORLD HACKING” — AFTER ALL, I AM THE BIGGEST NEWS  HACK IN THE WORLD.”

“EVERYBODY HAS TO STEP UP AND MAKE SOME SACRIFICES. MILLIONAIRES HAVE TO PAY A BIT MORE IN TAXES, AND THE POOR AND MIDDLE CLASSES HAVE TO BE WILLING TO OFFER THEMSELVES UP FOR HUMAN SACRIFICE.”

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BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin: American Corporate Negligence and Entitlement Is Leaving the US Behind.

“WE RESENT THE FACT HE CLAIMS WE’RE NOT NORML — IN FACT WE’RE SO FREAKIN’ HIGH WE’RE EVEN PUSHING FOR TAX CREDITS FOR MUNCHIES.”

Story here.

And more “bull” on the fatcats, at All Hat No Cattle.

Minnesota House Speaker Rep. Kurt Zellers and Senate Majority Leader Amy Koch

“GIVEN OUR RELIGIOUS ZEALOTRY, WE’VE DECIDED TO GET RID OF MINNEAPOLIS … AND KEEP ST. PAUL.”

” I THINK YOU CAN UNDERSTAND MY CONFUSION THAT ‘FRACKING’ WAS JUST A TYPE OF ’GAY SEX’ — AFTER I HEARD IT WAS DEEP DRILLING FOR NATURAL GAS.”

“YOUR HONOR, I UNDERSTAND SHE HAS NO INSURANCE, SO I’D LIKE YOU TO ORDER THIS MAID TO BE MY BUTLER.”