“SINCE IT’S APPARENT THAT THESE TEA PARTY FRESHMAN ARE IMBIBING MORE THAN JUST TEA, WE’RE GONNA HAVE TO BRING BACK PROHIBITION TO KEEP THE ENTIRE COUNTRY FROM FALLING ON ITS FACE.”

“FORGET THE DEBT CEILING, WE FINALLY HAVE A LEADER WHO KNOWS EXACTLY HOW TO GO TO GET A RISE OUT OF US.”

Story and video here.

“WE  THINK WE CAN CONVINCE THESE CRAZY BASTARDS THAT THE ENTIRE DEBT OF THE UNITED STATES HAS BEEN MAGICALLY WIPED OUT … BY MERELY ABOLISHING THE NATIONAL DEBT CLOCK IN NEW YORK CITY.”

I have a mansion, forget the price
Ain’t never been there, they tell me it’s nice
Unlike my namesake, although we both snort
I have accountants pay my child support

Story here.

“ONCE WE FOUND OUT THAT PAPA JOHN’S HAD ALLOWED THE PIZZA DOUGH TO RISE WITHOUT CUTTING THE PEPPERONI, WE SIMPLY COULDN’T PAY THE DELIVERY GUY AS A MATTER OF PRINCIPLE.”

“In exchange for invoking the 14th Amendment’s provisions for upholding the validity of the public debt of the United States, I’m prepared to cut not only spending, but ‘due process’ and the ‘equal protection of the laws’.”

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Mark Karlin of  Buzzflash At Truthout with Obama’s Obsession With Compromise Has Compromised His Presidency.

“IN STRICT COMPLIANCE WITH MY MARCHING ORDERS FROM THE TEA PARTY, THE BLADES FROM THIS DEBT CEILING FAN NOT ONLY REFLECT THE ORIGINAL FIVE COLONIES, BUT WILL REALLY BLOW SMOKE UP EVERYBODY’​S ASS.”

“ACCORDING TO STANDARD & POOR’S, THEY HAD TO DEVISE SOMETHING EVEN LOWER THAN ‘D’ FOR DEFAULT,  SO THEY CAME UP WITH ‘THIRD-DEGREE BURNS‘ FOR THE TOTAL DESTRUCTION OF THE ECONOMY.”

“THE BASIC DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ME AND THE REPUBLICANS IS THAT I WANT TO SURRENDER TO THEM ALL AT ONCE … AND THEY WANT TO ME TO SURRENDER IN BITS AND PIECES, AT LEAST THREE TIMES BEFORE THE NEXT ELECTION.”

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Lisa Casey on The Anti-Obama Everythings.

Madkane on the Unbalanced Republicans.

BartCopE! on the out of step GOP and other Recommended Reads.

“OUR ULTIMATE GOAL IS TO GIVE PRESIDENT OBAMA ONLY ONE OPTION TO RAISE THE FEDERAL DEBT CEILING … BY FORCING HIM ONTO THE LINE FOR PAYDAY LOANS.”