“NOW, WHY CAN’T YOU BE A CONSERVATIVE COMEDIAN, LIKE THAT FINE FELLOW COLBERT?”

Story here.

“WE WERE ACTUALLY PRETTY EVEN, WHEN JOHN SUDDENLY SEEMED TO FIND COMFORT AND TRUE INSPIRATION FROM THE LAST HOLE.”

“IT’S TRUE THAT WE MAY NOT HAVE THE BEST PERIPHERAL VISION, BUT AT THE SAME TIME YOU WON’T CATCH US PUTTING ON MAKEUP BEHIND THE WHEEL.”

Story here.

“WE KNEW THAT ANYONE WITH A BLOG CALLED ‘INFORMED COMMENT’ CONSTITUTED A WEAPON OF MASS DESTRUCTION —  AIMED RIGHT AT THE HEART OF THIS ADMINISTRATION.”

Story at Truthout.

“NOW YA’ SEE WHAT REALLY HAPPENS WITH OBAMNEYCARE: CASTRATION!”

Story here.

“Hey, Leon, do  ya’ think Anthony Weiner is a ‘through the gate,’ or an  ‘over-the-fence’ kind of guy?”

“Don’t really matter, Larry. He’s just a plain old Weiner-Gate. He just gets his weiner right in your facebook; he pulls  that weiner out, and spray paints that weiner all over twitter and the internet, so you know his weiner’s been there.”

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Lisa Casey on the real Weiner victims.

Recommended Links, at BartCopE!

“ACCORDING TO RULE 432(a) OF THE HOUSE GYM, MEMBERS SHALL NOT WIPE DOWN EQUIPMENT WITH THE SAME TOWELS THEY USE FOR THEIR ‘MEMBERS,’ NOR SHALL MEMBERS TRY TO PROVE THEIR MANHOOD BY DOING BENCH PRESSES WITH THEIR ‘MEMBERS’.”

“IT’S NOT WELL-KNOWN, BUT LINCOLN ACTUALLY USED MORSE CODE TO ‘FREE’ HIS BOYS AND AND ENTICE CONFEDERATE WOMEN TO FOLLOW HIM INTO A UNION.”

“EVEN THOUGH I WOULD NEVER EVEN READ A BULGING BRIEF, I DO KNOW THAT PAUL REVERE RODE AROUND WARNING BOTH THE BRITISH AND AMERICANS THAT ANTHONY WEINER WAS COMING.”

“FOR NOTORIOUS ‘WEINERS’–  LIKE ANTHONY WEINER’S — THIS TECHNOLOGY IS NOT ALL THAT CRUCIAL, BUT FOR THE AVERAGE PETE, THIS WILL HELP HIS WEINER GET THE RECOGNITION IT DESERVES.”