“I’D RATHER RISK MY LIFE CRAPPING ON TOP OF A ROOF THEN HAVE TO SNIFF ALL THE BULLSHIT SURROUNDING THIS CAMPAIGN.”

“IF ELECTED PRESIDENT, I’LL MAKE SURE THE UNITED STATES SECEDES … FROM THE UNITED STATES!”

“EVEN THOSE OF US WHO HAVE ESCAPED EVOLUTION CAN SEE THAT THE SCOPE OF THIS STATE’S HUMANS HAVE NOT EVOLVED IN 85 YEARS.”

“OBVIOUSLY, THE GOVERNMENT CAN NO LONGER AFFORD TO PROVIDE QUALITY HEALTH CARE FOR SENIORS …  AND PAY FOR THE TREATMENT OF MY 97 HEART ATTACKS, PACEMAKERS, HEART PUMPS, ETC.”

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Lisa Casey with the GOP Health Insurance Poster.

Krugman, Chomsky and other great links, at BArtCopE!

“THEY’VE BEEN USING ‘IGNORANT SLUT’ SINCE 1975, SO WHAT THE HELL’S THE DIFFERENCE IF I JUST ADDED THE REDUNDANT TERM ‘RIGHT-WING’.”

Story here.

Lisa Casey on the GOP’s “Mediscare.”

BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin on America as Third World Source of Labor and Slum Landlord Ownership.

“I KNOW MY CLIENT’S HOME DETENTION IS IN AN EXTREMELY PLUSH TOWN-HOUSE, BUT THE CLEANING LADY ASSIGNED TO HIM CONSTITUTES ‘CRUEL AND UNUSUAL’ PUNISHMENT.”

“AS LONG AS SHE AGREES TO ABIDE BY THE BOUNDARIES OF ‘69‘ … I SEE ABSOLUTELY NO BAR TO RECONCILIATION AND A LASTING PIECE.”

The real story on Herman Cain’s Middle East Learning Curve.

“LIKE MICHAEL SCOTT, I REALLY TAKE MYSELF A LOT MORE SERIOUSLY THAN OTHERS DO, AND AT LEAST I’M  MORE QUALIFIED THAN MICHELE BACHMANN, MINNESOTA’S VERSION OF DWIGHT SCHRUTE.”

“THE LEADING VOICE OF THE APOCALYPSE NOT ONLY SUDDENLY FELL SILENT, BUT REPORTERS FOUND A RATHER STUNNING NOTE ON HIS FRONT DOOR.”

“NO OFFENSE TO OUR EVANGELICAL BASE, BUT WE’RE NOT GONNA’ LET SOME TWO-BIT PREACHER, OR  EVEN THE ALMIGHTY HIMSELF, STEAL OUR THUNDER WHEN IT COMES TO INFLICTING PAIN AND MISERY.” 

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One Good Move on The Rapture.

BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin: Wisconsin Set to Disenfranchise Thousands on Eve of Recall Elections.