“HERE AT THE FACTOR, WE ALL KNOW THAT THE TIDES ARE CAUSED BY GOD, BUT WE DO ACKNOWLEDGE THAT A FULL MOON MAY HAVE CAUSED DONALD TRUMP TO BAY AT THE BIRTHERS.”

Story at HuffPost.

“Let’s see, worldwide profits of $14.2 billion, including $5.1 billion from U.S. operations, MINUS DEPRECIATION of progressive politicians, ignorant middle class citizens SHELTERED by FOX NEWS, and GREEN CREDITS for our world ‘s biggest wind turbines blowing smoke in everyone’s eyes … and the GOVERNMENT OWES G.E. $3.2 BILLION!”

BuzzFlash with Bernie Sanders on The Ten Worst Corporate Tax Avoiders: It’s Time for Them to Pay up and Share the Sacrifice.

“WE’RE IMMEDIATELY REMOVING, FROM THE MATERNITY WARDS OF ALL-STATE-RUN HOSPITALS, ANY ARTWORK DEPICTING WOMEN IN LABOR.”

“WE THINK ‘CHILDREN IN COAL MINES’ BEST CAPTURES THE OLD-TIME VALUES WE WANT TO GET BACK TO.”

‘

“NOW, MR. PRESIDENT, HERE’S A REAL CHANCE FOR SOME HUMANITARIAN ACTION, BY STOPPING  SOME CRAZED DICTATORS WHO ARE THREATENING IMMINENT HARM TO THEIR OWN PEOPLE.”

“AS WITH THE MOVIE OF THE SIMILAR NAME, NOBODY REALLY UNDERSTANDS WHAT THIS MEANS EITHER, AND SOME PEOPLE ALSO QUESTION WHETHER IT’S BEING DRIVEN BY ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE.”

“DON’T BELIEVE ALL THAT GARBAGE FROM THOSE EGGHEADS WHO SPEND THEIR TIME STARGAZING IN THE SANITARIUM. EVERYONE KNOWS A ‘SUPER MOON’ IS CAUSED WHEN GOD GETS SO ANGRY AT THE LIBERALS AND GAYS, THAT HE PULLS HIS PANTS DOWN AND SHOWS US WHERE HIS MOON DOES SHINE.”

“WE’RE DESIGNING FOR MR. LIMBAUGH-SAN A NUCLEAR-POWERED PRIUS, THAT WILL CERTAINLY MELT DOWN UNDER ALL HIS HOT AIR.”

Story here.

And Mark Karlin, of BuzzFlash at Truthout, with: A Tale of Two Americas: One America Lives on Greed; The Other America Barely Survives to Live.

“HOW DO YA’ THINK THE FRENCH GET THOSE AWESOME TANS, IT’S GOT NOTHING TO DO WITH THOSE BEACHES ON THE RIVIERA.”

The story on Orange Boy’s sudden  love affair with France.

“AS EVERYBODY KNOWS, THE GREAT GOVERNOR OF TEXAS, RICK PERRY, THREATENED TO SECEDE FROM GREAT BRITAIN, UNLESS THEY GAVE FREE COUPONS FOR AUTOMATIC WEAPONS WITH EVERY CASE OF TEA.”