The Satirical Political Report

"The Best Political REAM
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February 28th, 2010

Canadian Men’s Hockey Team Celebrates Differently Than Women

“WHOEVER THOUGHT THESE ROUGHNECKS FROM THE CANADIAN BACKWOODS WOULD END UP CELEBRATING WITH CHARDONNAY AND VIRGINIA SLIMS? MAKES ONE WONDER IF THEY’RE REALLY LUMBERJACKS AT HEART, EH?”

February 27th, 2010

Dick Cheney Advocates Waterboarding of Killer Whale

“AFTER JUST 45 SECONDS WE’LL HAVE HIM BLUBBERING, AS OPPOSED TO THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION, WHICH PLANS TO TRY HIM IN THE CIVILIAN COURTS OF ‘THE LOST CITY OF ATLANTIS’.”

February 26th, 2010

Bill Clinton to Honor Canadian Women’s Hockey Team

“I ALWAYS FANTASIZED ABOUT WOMEN WHO BROUGHT THEIR OWN CIGARS, BUT GETTING PAST ALL THAT EQUIPMENT AIN’T GONNA BE EASY.”

February 25th, 2010

John McCain at Health Care Summit: ‘Have C-Span Cover My Prostate Exam’

“NOW, JOHN, I REALIZE YOU’D RATHER HAVE THE AMERICAN PEOPLE LOOK UP YOUR ASS THAN LISTEN TO WHAT ACTUALLY COMES OUT OF YOUR MOUTH, BUT EITHER WAY, YOU’RE JUST FULL OF SHIT.”

February 24th, 2010

GOP Responds to Anthony Weiner’s Scathing Attack

“BASED ON HIS  SCURRILOUS CHARGES THAT REPUBLICANS ARE MERELY WHOLLY-OWNED SUBSIDIARIES OF INSURANCE COMPANIES, WE NOW PROPOSE LEGISLATION TO REQUIRE MR. WEINER TO GET A ‘REFERRAL’ BEFORE SPEAKING, TO PAY OUT-OF-POCKET FOR THE HOUSE PODIUM AND MICROPHONE, AND TO EXPEL HIM FOR THE PRE-EXISTING CONDITION OF HAVING BALLS AND A BRAIN.”

Video here:

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BuzzFlash on Anthem’s Rate Hikes:  Ordinary Americans Are Better at Selling Healthcare Reform Than Democrats.

One Good Move with The Daily Show on the Regressive Mr. Beck.

Bush v. Crist, at All Hat No Cattle.

Madkane’s Ode To GOP Stimulus Hypocrisy.


February 24th, 2010

Scandal Rocks Olympic Curling Competition

“WE BELIEVE SOME OF THE CONTESTANTS HAVE NOT ONLY BEEN JUICING, BASED ON THEIR INCREASED WEIGHTS OF ALMOST 140 POUNDS, BUT IT ALSO APPEARS THEY’VE BEEN CORKING THEIR BROOMS.”

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Curl up with total entertainment at BartCopE!

February 23rd, 2010

Rachel Maddow Conclusively Proves That Republicans Are ‘Dogs’

“THE FACTS SIMPLY SPEAK FOR THEMSELVES … THEY BOTH START HOWLING WHEN THEY HEAR  ‘LAW AND ORDER’.”

The story here.

February 23rd, 2010

Desperate U.S. Curling Team to Use Cheney’s Lip

“WE’RE NOT SURE HE CAN HELP US WIN, BUT AT LEAST HIS MERE PESENCE WILL KEEP THE ICE SUFFICIENTLY CHILLED IN THE FACE OF GLOBAL WARMING.”

February 22nd, 2010

Dick Cheney Inspires a New ‘Colon Bowel Doctrine’

“IT’S PLAIN TO ME WE HAVE TO KEEP SHITTING ON THE FORMER VICE PRESIDENT’S HEAD WITH OVERWHELMING FORCE,  SINCE IT APPEARS THE BASTARD’S HEART HAS NINE LIVES.”


February 21st, 2010

Martin Scorsese Films ‘Shutter Island’ Sequel at CPAC

“WHY PAY ACTORS TO PLAY THE CRIMINALLY INSANE … WHEN I CAN JUST USE THE REAL THING FOR FREE.”

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Hey Dems – Where’s Your CPAC Conference? — at BuzzFlash.

Lisa Casey with The Tea Party Poster, and One Good Move with more Right-Wing Insanity — Combining MLK Holiday and ‘Gun Day.’

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