“THIS COULD BE THE FIRST TIME THAT A CANDIDATE GOT IN TROUBLE FOR PICKING UP AND HAVING SEX WITH HIS PICK-UP.”

“EVERYBODY KNOWS YOU SHOULD JUDGE A CANDIDATE BY THEIR CHARACTER — NOT BY WHAT THEY HAVE BETWEEN THEIR LEGS.”

TEABAGGER GETTING ‘BAGGED’ BY MULTINATIONAL CORPORATIONS

“EVERYTHING WOULD BE  FINE IF I COULD JUST GET ‘GOVERNMENT‘ OFF MY BACK.”

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More teabag humor at All Hat No Cattle.

“WHAT COULD BE MORE THREATENING TO A RED-BLOODED AMERICAN THAN A BLACK MAN, WHO SPEAKS FRENCH, AND UNLIKE THOSE PANSY LIBERALS, REALLY KNOWS HOW TO TAKE A POUND OF FLESH.”

“HEY, IT’S REALLY PERFECT.  I’M FROM MASSACHUSETTS, I CAN HANDLE ANY  LATE-NIGHT SENATE SESSIONS, AND I CAN FILL IN FOR BARACK WHEN HE GOES TO CAMP DAVID.”

“HOW DO YOU ASK A MAN TO BE THE LAST TO BE RESURRECTED …  SO HEALTH CARE REFORM DOESN’T DIE.”

“THAT SONUVABITCH ZUCKER WANTS TO REPLACE ME AS THE ‘LOGO’ WITH JAY LENO’S CHIN.”

“HE’S GOT THE LIGHT SKIN, ALRIGHT, BUT I’M NOT SURE NEW YORKERS WILL TAKE TO THAT  HEAVY BROOKLYN DIALECT HE RECENTLY AFFECTED.”

“AYY, FUGGEDABOUTIT — I’M GONNA’ KICK GILLIBRAND’S ASS ALL OVER TOITY TOID AND TOID.”

“WELL, COUNT, YOU ASK WHAT MY FAVORITE NUMBER IS? … I REALLY LIKE ALL OF THEM.”

“I REALLY ONLY DID IT TO RECOVER FROM A CLOSE ENCOUNTER WITH KRYPTONITE, BUT I STILL FEEL THAT MY ABILITY TO FLY AND SEE THROUGH PEOPLE’S CLOTHES AT THE AIRPORT WAS A GOD-GIVEN GIFT. BUT AS FOR MY MASKED FRIEND HERE, I THINK HE’D ADMIT HE DID IT TO INCREASE HIS BAT-SPEED.”