The Satirical Political Report

"The Best Political REAM
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March 21st, 2010

Stupak Demands Finally Met: Obama Must Get Tattoo of Hyde Amendment on His Hide

“WE KNOW THAT EXECUTIVE ORDERS ARE EASILY RESCINDED, BUT IT’LL  HURT LIKE A SONUVABITCH FOR OBAMA TO REMOVE  A TATTOO OF A FAT FUCKER LIKE HENRY HYDE.”

March 21st, 2010

Tea Partiers Blame Eddie Haskell for Their Spitting on Cleaver

“AFTER WATCHING TOO MANY TV LAND RERUNS OF LEAVE IT TO BEAVER, OUR BASE THOUGHT IT WAS OK TO BEAT UP ON THE CLEAVER.”

Story here.

March 21st, 2010

Tea Party Bigots Seek Out Gay Black Paraplegic to Insult

“THEY SCREAMED AT ME THAT THEY DIDN’T HAVE THE MANPOWER TO INSULT ALL OF US INDIVIDUALLY, AND THAT THEY WERE LOOKING TO ESTABLISH A NEW LEVEL OF EFFICIENCY THAT BIG GOVERNMENT COULD NEVER PROVIDE.”


March 21st, 2010

Cussin,’ Spittin’ Tea Partiers Oppose Federal Funds for Tourette’s Syndrome

“WE OPPOSE ANY GODDAMN, COCKS**KING FEDERAL GUMMINT ATTEMPT TO CURE OUR SICK MOTHER-F**KING BEHAVIOR.”

March 20th, 2010

Glenn Beck Strikes Back at Jon Stewart For Striking at Glenn Beck

THE DAILY SHOW — UMM, NOW WHO ELSE USES THE WORD ‘DAILY’ IN THEIR TITLE?  OF COURSE, IT’S THE COMMUNIST PAPER, THE DAILY WORKER. AND THE WORD ‘SHOW’ — IT’S THE VERY SAME COMMIES WHO FIRST CAME UP WITH THE ‘SHOW’ TRIAL.”

March 19th, 2010

Census Forms To Be Modeled After ‘NCAA-Style Brackets’

WE FIGURED IT’S THE ONLY WAY TO GET COOPERATION FROM THE PARANOID RIGHT-WINGERS — THIS WAY THEY CAN SAY THEY’RE FROM THE ‘WHITE’ BRACKET , AND THEY’RE GONNA’ BEAT THE STUFFING OUT OF THE “BLACK,’ ‘HISPANIC’ AND ‘GAY’ BRACKETS.”

March 18th, 2010

The Left Assails Dems for ‘Demon Pass’

“YOU KNOW, LARRY, I CAN FORGIVE THE DEMS FOR PASSING A CRAPPY HEALTH REFORM BILL,  BUT GIVING THOSE GOP DEVILS A PASS IS TRULY UNCONSCIONABLE.”

March 18th, 2010

Jihad Jane Arraigned, Threatens Courtroom Sketch Artist

“UNLIKE WITH THE SWEDISH CARTOONIST, THE DEFENDANT MADE NO CLAIM THAT THE COURTROOM SKETCH ARTIST HAD EVER DRAWN THE PROPHET MUHAMMAD … BUT SIMPLY THAT SHE DREW MS. LaROSE TO LOOK FAT IN HER JAIL-GREEN JUMPSUIT.”

March 17th, 2010

FOX News Distorts Even Obama’s NCAA Tournament Picks

“THE PRESIDENT HAS KENYA OVER ETHIOPIA COMING OUT OF THE ‘AFRICAN EAST’ BRACKET, AND THEN LOSING TO NIGERIA COMING OUT OF THE MIDWEST.”

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More Fox News insanity, with Glenn Beck U. — at All Hat No Cattle.

More on Michael Moore vs. Rahm, at BartCopE!

March 17th, 2010

Wall Street’s Revenge on Jon Stewart: A Takeover of ‘Jonco’

“FORGET THE FANCY WALL STREET SLEIGHT-OF-HAND — WE’RE TALKING ABOUT AN ACTUAL KIDNAPPING, WHERE WE ‘SECURITIZE’ JON STEWART BY LITERALLY CUTTING HIM INTO LITTLE PIECES .”

Jonco Destroys The World

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One Good Move with The Daily Show video , and BuzzFlash analysis on the voters’ revenge on Congress for failure to enact meaningful bank reform.

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