“APPARENTLY, THE COMBINATION OF HEAT TRAPPING GASES DIRECTLY OVER EAST ANGLIA UNIVERSITY, TOGETHER WITH THE BUILDING’S UNIQUE ARCHITECTURE WHICH ALLOWS IN ALL THE LIGHT, DID IN FACT RESULT IN THE SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTION OF THE RESEARCHER’S PANT LEG.”

Twitter, the phenomenon that has taken the world by storm the past few years, has now been dramatically eclipsed by ‘Yada,’ an even more succinct social networking and micro-blogging site.

The meteoric rise of Yada represents ‘tweet revenge’  for its diminutive founder, Curt B. Terseman, who was banned by Twitter for repeatedly yada yada-ing his tweets. In keeping with his hallmark brevity, Terseman settled on the name “Yada” after rejecting the initial names of  ”Yada, Yada, Yada,” or even “Yada, Yada,” so that users could “‘yada” their “yada, yada, yadas.”

Many social networking experts believe that Yada poses an existential threat to the Twitter franchise, since the increasingly diminished attention span of Americans appeared to be out-of-synch with Twitter’s rather verbose platform of 140 characters. As one analyst put it, “Yada appears to be much better suited to the current vogue of ‘saying less with less’.”

Indeed, support for this theory is also evident from newly recast DVD versions of Seinfeld, in which the entire ‘Yada Yada’ episode  is cut from 22 minutes to just 2 minutes, consisting entirely of “yadas.”

A spokesman for Twitter responded to this negative press by tweeting a statement of exactly 140 characters, in which he signaled his future plans to “fully address the growing Yada threat, as soon as I finish rearranging my sock drawer and changing the cat litter.”

Yada’s Mr. Terseman, who reportedly prefers “Leon” from Curb Your Enthusiam to any Seinfeld character, himself replied on Yada, vowing that he “would not rest until I’ve completely yada’d up Twitter’s yada-yada-ing ass.”

But perhaps the Yada explosion was best summed up by author Malcolm Gladwell, who stated that “this may well be the ‘tipping point’ for micro-blogging: ‘blink,’ and you might just miss the message from people who are hardly ‘outliers,’ but instead simply have nothing to say.”

“HOLY SHIT, MUST DRIVE FASTER, GODZILLA CLOSING GROUND.”

“OK, YOU CAN EITHER EXERCISE THE PUBLIC OPTION WITHIN THIS TIGHT LITTLE AREA, OR YOU CAN HAVE A LITTLE TOY PUBLIC OPTION.”

“THE PRESIDENT IS CLEARLY ENTITLED TO A CLOAK OF CONFIDENTIALITY, CONCERNING WHETHER HE’S BEING FED ANY WARMED-OVER LEFTOVERS FROM THE LAST ADMINISTRATION.”

“LOOKS LIKE THE LORD MISTAKENLY THOUGHT I WAS PRAYING FOR A 16-33 LOSS, AND EVEN THEN HE STILL BLEW IT WITH US GETTING SMITTEN 13-32.”

“ONCE YOU BECOME A SINGLE PLAYER, AND OPT-IN TO A PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP, IT TRIGGERS COMPLETE GOVERNMENT BENEFITS BASED ON AN EXCHANGE OF SEXUAL FAVORS.”

“MAYOR WISEMAN, EVEN THOUGH YOUR HEALTH INSURANCE POLICY DOESN’T COVER PSYCHIATRIC COUNSELING, I’M PREPARED NOT ONLY TO WAIVE MY FEE, BUT TO TESTIFY IN SUPPORT OF YOUR INSANITY DEFENSE.”

Story at HuffPost.

“ACCORDING TO REPORTS, IN A BIZARRE VARIATION OF THE BOSTON TEA PARTY, THE PROTESTORS PLAN TO DRESS UP AS SWISS GUARDS, ERECT A GIANT STATUE OF THE POPE ENTIRELY OUT OF SWISS CHOCOLATE, AND THEN CARVE IT UP WITH A SWISS ARMY KNIFE.”

“SIMPLY AMAZING. THEIR NAME SOUNDS ARABIC, THEY HAVEN’T EVEN BEEN BORN, YET THERE SEEMS TO BE PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE THAT THEY WORSHIP AT TEMPLE EMANUEL.”