“OUR PLAN FULLY COVERS ALL PEDESTRIAN-PEDESTRIAN ACCIDENTS, AND AFTER YOU PAY A $500 DEDUCTIBLE, THE PLAN HOLDS DOWN COSTS BY ELIMINATING SURGERY IN FAVOR OF BODYWORK AND A BRAND NEW PAINT JOB.”

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Meg at BuzzFlash on the real House Republican Bogus Healthcare Plan: No Coverage for Preexisting Conditions.

“MADAM, IF YOU WERE MY CONGRESSPERSON, I’D POISON YOUR TEA.”

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The original Churchill quote.

Here it is folks, from the home office of Michele Bachmann’s lunatic mind, the top commercials from her health care protest, the  Super Bowl for Freedom:

5. Mean Mitch McConnell — Based on the iconic Coke commercial, the Senate Minority Leader from Kentucky refuses to give a homeless kid his extra button-down Brooks Brothers shirt.

4. The Glenn Beck Crying Trade Baby — Glenn promises you can trade your sanity for his hysterical idiocy in just seconds, all from the comfort of your own home.

3. Teabag 1984 — Forget the groundbreaking Apple commercial, Tea Party Wingnuts throw Tom the Hammer DeLay at the U.S. Constitution encased at the Smithsonian.

2. The Dudweiser Frogs – Rush, Sarah and Glenn sitting on a log in upstate NY’s Congressional District 23, croaking: “We –Fucked–Up.”

1. Clydesdales Playing Political Football: In a metaphor of the GOP “health plan,” the world-renowned horses kick around health care, until one breaks his leg, and then is shot by the others.

“MY PREVIOUS BOOK ADDRESSED WHETHER WOMEN REALLY NEED COCKS, BUT THIS ONE MAKES CLEAR THAT NO ONE REALLY NEEDS COCKROACHES.”

Maureen’s column here, and Maureen herself weighed in on this post with a … “Ha.”

“SHE SAID IT WOULD GIVE ME A BIT MORE CACHET IN ANY FUTURE ELECTIONS, AND ALSO DEPRIVE KARZAI OF THE CHARGE THAT THEY’RE COUNTING MY VOTES TWICE.”

“WHAT WE NEED IS A REAL AMERICAN TO WIN THE MARATHON, NOT SOME GUY WHOSE ‘RUNNING’ CREDENTIALS MIRROR OBAMA’S.”

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BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin on Hoffman Getting His Teabags Dunked!

“SO, CHUCK, CAN’T WE THEN CONCLUDE THAT WHAT THESE ‘VALUES VOTERS’  APPARENTLY VALUED THE MOST WAS THE VERY IDEA OF FUCKING GAY PEOPLE.”

“I KNOW MY CONSTITUENTS AND I WOULD RATHER BE WIPED OUT BY AL QAEDA … THAN BE CLEANED OUT OF ALL THE TOXIC WASTE THAT AFFECTS OUR BRAINS.”

Story here, and a healthy dose of reality at BartCopE!

“VICE PRESIDENT?  I’M DICKHEAD THE XIV, AND THE UNITED STATES IS ME.”

Lisa Casey on the Ditherer-in-Chief.

BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin on the Virginia Foxx in the FOX House.

“THE THING THAT REALLY FOOLED ME WAS WHEN HE SAID: ‘IF YOU WANT TO KNOW MY POSITIONS, PRESS 666‘.”

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Exhibit  ”A” on  Mr. Automaton: