10.  Conjugal visits by 72 virgins would severely strain resources of U.S. Marshall’s Service.

9. Federal Civil Rights laws bar anal plunging.

8. NY License Plates would suddenly read ‘JIHADMAN.’

7. Thufferin’ Thuccotash! Terrorists would have better speech therapy than Rudy.

6. 9/11 plotters would be less estranged from their families than Rudy.

5. Afraid they’ll get more media exposure than Rudy through MSNBC’s Al Qaeda Lockup.

4. Terrorists may let Bernard Kerik use their cells for secret prison trysts.

3.  Defendants could get representation by Rudy’s ‘Cousin Vinny’.”

2. Successful prosecutions would overshadow Rudy’s own 100% conviction rate against squeegee men.

1.  Since gas chamber has been abolished, Rudy would look silly witnessing executions wearing his gas mask.

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Norm Jenson with Jon Stewart’s rip of Rudy.

“WELCOME TO YOU ALL.  BEFORE WE INTRODUCE THE FORMER GOVERNOR OF ALASKA AND GOP VICE-PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE, PLEASE BE ADVISED THAT WE HAVE CONVENIENTLY PLACED BARF BAGS AT THE END OF EACH AISLE.”

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P.M. Carpenter at BuzzFlash asks: Will America ever ‘go rogue’ — again?

Dan Kurtzman has Jokes About Sarah Palin’s (Joke?) Book, Lisa Casey on more GOP Boobs, and Madkane with Stupak Stupidity.

“I DON’T CARE IF THE OBAMA JUSTICE DEPARTMENT SEEKS THE DEATH PENALTY, THEY SIMPLY DON’T HAVE THE POWER TO PUT KSM ON DOUBLE SECRET PROBATION.”

“BY THE TIME ANY ‘TRAITOROUS’ TWEETS IN 140 ‘CHINESE CHARACTERS’ ARE WRITTEN AND SENT, YOU’LL BE ABLE TO BUILD A NEW WALL, REPOSSESS AMERICA … AND STILL HAVE TIME TO CRUSH THE REVOLUTION.”

“NOW, WHO BETTER THAN A MAN WHO LOOKS LIKE FARRAKHAN, BUT IS NAMED ‘DUBERSTEIN,’ TO RESOLVE CENTURIES OF HATRED AND BLOODSHED.”

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An excellent review of the latest Curb episode by Alan Sepinwall.

“MR. BROOKS KEEPS SAYING I’M NOT ‘SERIOUS’, BUT I’LL SHOW HIM THE ‘SERIOUSNESS’ OF THE MATTER IN 2012 — WHEN MY FAMILY REFUSES TO SPEND CAMPAIGN FUNDS AT HIS STORE.”

Story at HuffPost.

Forget 2012 – All Hat No Cattle on Apocalypse Now!

“UNLIKE THE NORMAL SITUATION,  THE U.S. MARSHALLS WILL ACTUALLY LET THE TERRORISTS HIT THEIR HEADS GETTING IN AND OUT OF THE CAR.”

“WHAT ELSE WOULD YOU EXPECT FROM A WOMAN WHO WILDLY ASSERTS  THAT I COMPLAINED ABOUT A PUBIC HAIR IN THE COCAINE THAT I GOT FROM RUSH LIMBAUGH.”

“WE ALSO MARKET THE PRODUCT AS A ‘HIGH DRECK LYNCHING’.”

Video at One Good Move.

“YA KNOW, OPRAH, I READ A LOT OF THESE RECIPE MAGAZINES, WHICH THEY DO HAVE IN ALASKA, AND THEY RECOMMEND A FEW GOOD ALTERNATIVES TO THE TRADITIONAL THANKSGIVING TURKEY.”