“IT WOULD TAKE THREE THINGS ACTUALLY. INVADING IRAN, BOMBING THE HOUSES JIMMY CARTER BUILT FOR HABITAT FOR HUMANITY, AND KNOCKING OVER MOTHER THERESA’S GRAVESTONE.”

Mr. Hard-ass on Hardball, at HuffPost.

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Lisa Casey on the Cheneys and a different Nobel prize.

Andrew Lehman at BuzzFlash on the Generation Abyss.

Madkane’s Ode To Party-First Republicans.

VOICEOVER: “FORGET ABOUT FAT, CHRIS CHRISTIE’S REAL PROBLEM IS ‘GRAFT.’ THAT’S GRAFT, AS IN RHYMES WITH ‘WILLIAM HOWARD TAFT.”

“WE’VE DECIDED TO GIVE THE TOP PRIZE TO BARACK OBAMA, JUST FOR NOT BEING TOM DeLAY, WHO THREATENED TO SET BACK THE ART OF DANCE TO BEFORE MAN COULD STAND ON TWO LEGS.”

“TONIGHT’S FORECAST: DON’T BELIEVE THE MULTINATIONAL CORPORATIONS ARE PISSING ON YOUR LEG; IT’S REALLY THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION CREATING THE RAIN.”

Here’s the BuzzFlash Forecast: FOX News is a Turn Off. Return the Favor.

“EVEN THOUGH WE NEVER EXISTED IN THE FIRST PLACE, WE FELT WE HAD TO RESURRECT OURSELVES IN ORDER TO DESTROY THE SODOM AND GOMORRAH KNOWN AS CONSERVAPEDIA.”

Nicole Belle at Crooks & Liars on the re-write of the “too-liberal” Bible.

“NOT ONLY WILL WE KEEP PLAYING THIS OVER AND OVER ON A CONTINUOUS LOOP, BUT WE’RE GONNA’ SUPPORT LEGISLATION REQUIRING KEITH OLBERMANN TO GET HIS HEALTH INSURANCE FROM THE FOX NEWS OPTION.”

Special Comment at HufffPost, and  P.M. Carpenter at BuzzFlash: The politics of the public option withers on.

“THE ONLY THING THAT REALLY MATTERS IS OBAMA EATING CROW; I REALLY DON’T CARE IF OUR DISABLED VETERANS HAVE TO WHEEL ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.”

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From One Rogue to another, at All Hat No Cattle.

Reviews of Fall Television Premieres, at BartCopE!

“LET’S FACE IT, IF IT WEREN’T FOR TINA FEY LAST YEAR, BASED ON THE REST OF OUR PERFORMANCE, PEOPLE WOULD’VE BEEN CLAMORING TO SEND US TO GUANTANAMO.”

“WHAT I REALLY MEANT TO TITLE MY BOOK WAS ‘GOING ROUGE‘ — SINCE I NEEDED JUST ABOUT ALL THE LIPSTICK I COULD FIND TO COVER UP THE FACT THAT I ACT LIKE A PIG.”

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BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin: Seniors Should Remember What Government-Paid Medical Care Did for Them.

Lisa Casey on the right-wing conspiracy against a U.S. Olympics.

Norm Jenson with Bill Maher’s New Rules, and the Richard Dawkins’ appearance.

“NOW, LADIES AND GENTS, I KNOW THIS ROLE WAS TRADITIONALLY RESERVED TO WOMEN, BUT I’M GONNA’ DO MY DARNDEST TO BE THE FIRST LATE NIGHT HOST TO BREAK THE CRASS CEILING.”