“OUR LATEST INFORMATION SUGGESTS THAT THE HEENE HELIUM HOAX NOW EXTENDS TO THE FAMILY PET, WHICH THEY FALSELY CLAIMED WAS STUCK IN AN ANIMAL BALLOON.”

“WE WERE READING ABOUT  BUSH’S EXPERIENCE  IN THE NATIONAL GUARD, AND THAT’S WHERE I GOT THE IDEA TO HAVE MY SON BAIL OUT OF THE FLIGHT AND HIDE IN A COZY, DARK PLACE.”

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Mark Karlin on  the Hoax  of the 30 Republican Senators Who Voted to Enable Rape, and Norm Jenson on Bill Maher’s Vaccine Hoax.

Dan Kurtzman’s Political Cartoons of the Week.

“THE DUDE JUST TOLD US HE FOUND IT OFFENSIVE THAT WE BAGGED THE TRADITIONAL WEDDING CAKE … IN FAVOR OF A GIANT BLACK-AND-WHITE COOKIE.”

Story at Crooks & Liars, and from Louisiana pigheadedness to D.C. Pork, at All Hat No Cattle.

       It is a dark time for the Health Care Reformers.  Although the Insurance Company Death Panels have been destroyed, Insurance Lobbyists and Blue Dogs have driven the Reform forces from their Congressional offices and pursued them across the Washington Mall. 
      Evading the dreaded Imperial Republicans, a group of public option freedom fighters led by Ron Wyden and Nancy Pelosi have established a new secret base in one of Keith Olbermann’s health clinics in the remote ice world of Mt. Olympia Snowe.
    The evil lord Mitch McConnell, obsessed with filibustering health reform, has dispatched thousands of remote anal probe examinations with hefty co-pays and deductibles into the far reaches of Democratic sphincters ….

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Jon Perr on how Americans are already self-rationing health care.

Lisa Casey on the fall, and fall, of the Republican Party.

Check out Marty’s excellent entertainment page at BartCopE!

“NEEDLESS TO SAY, BOB, I WOULD HAVE IMMEDIATELY GIVEN ORDERS TO SHOOT THE BALLOON DOWN , ESPECIALLY SINCE THE LITTLE BOY HAD MET WITH MOHAMMED ATTA IN A PRAGUE PRE-K.”

“WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT, IT’S REALLY THE PERFECT CHOICE — AN IMMATURE PERSON, SURROUNDED BY HOT AIR, BUT WHO STILL NEVER GETS OFF THE GROUND.”

“WHEN IT’S SO CLEAR THAT RUSH LIMBAUGH CAN’T EVEN CARRY THE WATER FOR A BUNCH OF AMATEURS LIKE THE REPUBLICAN PARTY, WHY WOULD HE BE ALLOWED TO DO SO FOR A PROFESSIONAL FOOTBALL TEAM.”

“THE STATEMENT BY JOHN OLIVER OF THE DAILY SHOW THAT WE, AND I QUOTE, ‘FUCK GOATS,’  IS SIMPLY NOT TRUE — AT LEAST NOT SINCE WE PULLED ALL OUR FOREIGN CORRESPONDENTS OUT OF AFGHANISTAN….  AND WE’LL HAVE TO LEAVE IT THERE.”

Norm Jenson with The Daily Show video.

10. FIELD GOAL KICKER  ORDERED TO MISS ‘WIDE RIGHT’

9. PLAYERS WOULD BE LEFT SCRAMBLING FOR PAINKILLERS PILFERED BY LIMBAUGH

8. RAMS’ ‘THROWBACK’ UNIFORMS WOULD BE WHITE HOODS

7. DEFENSIVE PLAYERS WOULD BLITZ  OWNERS’ BOX INSTEAD OF OPPOSING QUARTERBACK

6. RUSH WOULD ACCUSE INJURED PLAYERS OF ‘PULLING A MICHAEL FOX’

5. ICONIC RAMS’ HORN ON HELMET REPLACED BY ‘DITTOS’

4. AL FRANKEN PUBLISHES NEW BOOK: RUSH LIMBAUGH IS SENDING IN BIG FAT IDIOTIC PLAYS

3. PRE-GAME TAILGATING REPLACED BY TEABAGGING PARTIES

2.  FOR PRO BOWL SELECTIONS, RUSH ORDERS TEAM TO VOTE FOR HILARY CLINTON 

1. TO BOLSTER RUNNING GAME, LIMBAUGH URGES OFFENSIVE LINEMAN TO ‘BLOCK FOR THE MAGIC NEGRO’

And for changes to Rush’s radio program, Limbaugh crows that he’s finally achieved his life goal: To become a ‘MINORITY OWNER’

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BLOGWORTHIES:

BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin on Antonin Scalia and Glenn Beck: Just Two Degrees of Radical Separation.

Lisa Casey profiles the typical Limbaugh caller.

Jon Perr on some Nobel nominations for conservatives.

Dan Kurtzman with the complete round-up of Obama Nobel Jokes.

“EVEN THOUGH A LOSS TO JON CORZINE IN THE NEW JERSEY GUBERNATORIAL RACE MAY SIGNAL THE TWILIGHT OF MY CAREER, I’LL STILL BE PREPARED TO … ‘SERVE’ THIS MAN.”