President-elect Barack Obama (C), newly nominated Secretary of Education, former head of the Chicago school system Arne Duncan (R) and Vice President-elect Joe Biden speak to elementary school children December 16, 2008 at Dodge Renaissance Academy in Chicago, Illinois. Obama called Duncan, a former professional basketball player in Australia, "...the most hands-on of hands-on practitioners..." of school reform.

“NOW, BOYS AND GIRLS, STAY IN PUBLIC SCHOOL, SHARE YOUR CRAYONS WITH YOUR ELEMENTARY SCHOOL CLASSMATES, AND IF YOU DON’T FEEL WELL, YOU CAN GET FREE HEALTH CARE FROM THE PUBLIC SCHOOL NURSE.”

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Dan Kurtzman with The Week’s Best Late-Night Jokes.