“MARK MY WORDS, IT’LL EVENTUALLY COME OUT THAT CLINTON ONLY FREED THESE TWO JOURNALISTS BY TRADING MONICA LEWINSKY AND PAULA JONES.”

“DOESN’T TAKE A GENIUS TO SEE WHAT THEY’RE REALLY AFTER IS MY PERSONAL ARSENAL AND CONFEDERATE FLAG.” 

“I’M NOT AT ALL OFFENDED. IN FACT, I’M HAVING LADYSMITH BLACK MAMBAZO SING ANOTHER SONG FOR ME ON MY BIRTHDAY: ‘PEOPLE SAY THEY’RE CRAZY, I’VE GOT WING-NUTS ON THE SOLES OF MY SHOES’.”

“WE THOUGHT WHAT BETTER WAY TO DEMONSTRATE WHERE WE STAND ON THE ISSUE … THAN TO HAVE SHIT HANGING DOWN OUR FACES.”

“MICHELLE, UNDER YOUR OWN PERVERSE THEORY, MAYBE YOU’D QUIT YOUR DAY JOB AND JUST LIE ABOUT THE HOUSE … INSTEAD OF LYING ABOUT OBAMA AND THE DEMOCRATS.”

The story at Crooks & Liars.

“UNDER THE OBAMA HEALTH PLAN, YOU CAN EXPECT TO RECEIVE AFRICAN SPAM ASKING YOU TO SEND YOUR VITAL ORGANS TO AN ORGAN BANK, IN EXCHANGE FOR GOVERNMENT-RUN HEALTH INSURANCE.”

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BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin on the Creeping Signs of GE Intervention in MSNBC’s Progressive Programming.

Dan Kurtzman with Bill Maher Bashing the ‘Birthers’ Over Obama Birth Certificate.

“DON’T WORRY ABOUT OBAMA’S PLAN FOR COUNSELING ON ‘LIVING WILLS’ … UNLESS OF COURSE, YOU’RE ALREADY BRAIN-DEAD LIKE THE REPUBLICAN PARTY.”

“IF WE COULD JUST APPLY THESE SAME PRINCIPLES OF MENTAL HEALTH TO TRADITIONAL MEDICINE, WE CAN VASTLY INCREASE ACCESS FOR THE POOREST AMERICANS.”