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The Satirical Political Report

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May 7th, 2009

Sean Hannity Reveals What HE Takes on His Hamburger

  

“FORGET THE DIJON MUSTARD AND THE KETCHUP, I TOP OFF MY BURGER WITH RUSH LIMBAUGH’S ASS SWEAT – WHICH IS THE REAL MEAT OF THE REPUBLICAN PARTY.”

Story here.

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Lisa Casey with the opposite end of the Limbaugh suck-ups.

BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin on Murder They Wrote: The Torture Legacy of the Bush Administration.

Madkane’s Quaking Over Handshakes.

Letterman Takes on Cheney for Attacking Obama, via Dan Kurtzman.

May 7th, 2009

Arlen Comes Out of the Closet: Admits He’s Bi-Spect-ual

“I USED TO BELIEVE THAT MARRIAGE WAS STRICTLY BETWEEN A POLITICIAN AND ONE PARTY, BUT LATE IN LIFE I’VE LEARNED TO GO BOTH WAYS.”

May 7th, 2009

Dazed and Confused, Arlen Specter Filibusters Himself

“I’M ABSOLUTELY DETERMINED TO STOP MYSELF, BEFORE I ENGAGE IN A SELF-INFLICTED HIGH-TECH LYNCHING.”

May 6th, 2009

Condi Called Out on Torture, Even at S & M Convention

“AT LEAST WE KNOW WHEN WE’RE GETTING  BULLSHIT LEGAL ADVICE. AND THIS IS HOW WE DEAL WITH THE CORRUPT BASTARDS WHO GAVE IT TO US.”

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Why Do “Christians” Support Torture? — at One Good Move.

P.M. Carpenter at BuzzFlash on the sado-masochistic Specter.

Lisa Casey has a unique perspective on a possible GOP comeback.

May 5th, 2009

Condi Ignored Warnings: ’4th Grader Determined to Strike’

Condoleezza Rice speaks to grade school students.

“HOW WAS I TO KNOW THAT A 4TH GRADER WOULD HAVE A SUPERIOR MORAL CODE AND MORE RESPECT FOR THE LAW THAN A CERTAIN STANFORD PROFESSOR OF POLITICAL SCIENCE.”

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Story here.

And GOP determined to strike at Obama’s Supreme Court nominee, at All Hat No Cattle.

May 4th, 2009

GOP’s Latest Makeover = Mystical Pizza

Rep. Eric Cantor, right, listens as former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush offers advice for the GOP.

“IT’S BASICALLY A STORY ABOUT A BUNCH OF ADOLESCENTS WHO ARE DESPERATELY TRYING TO GROW UP, WHILE THEY CONTINUE TO ATTRACT PEOPLE WHO ARE MERELY INTERESTED IN MORE DOUGH.”

Background at MSNBC’s First Read on 3 Guys and a Pizza

May 3rd, 2009

More FOX News Hysteria: Claims H1N1 Spread to R2D2

“NOW LET’S SEE IF THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION WILL PROTECT THIS COUNTRY, BY BUILDING A WALL AROUND THE EARTH TO KEEP OUT THE ILLEGAL ALIENS.”

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Lisa Casey on the latest GOP Makeover, and Madkane on Karl’s Roving Standards.

May 2nd, 2009

Why Joe Biden is Trying to Talk Souter into Staying On

“I SAID, LOOK DAVID, IN THIS NEW FLU-PANIC ENVIRONMENT, WE CAN JUSTIFY YOUR RECLUSIVE DESIRE TO STAY AT HOME, AND YOU WON’T HAVE TO EXPOSE YOURSELF TO SUCH SWINE AS SCALIA OR THOMAS.”

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BuzzFlash Editor Mark Karlin: Quickest Route for an Obama Supreme Court Nominee is Ending the Filibuster.

May 2nd, 2009

GOP Wants the 18th Century Souter Replaced by a Another Judge From 18th Century, B.C!

“HAMMURABI’S PHILOSOPY OF ‘AN EYE FOR AN EYE’ MIGHT BE A BIT TOO LIBERAL FOR US, BUT WE FEEL VERY COMFORTABLE WITH A LEADER OF BABBLE-ON.”

P.M. Carpenter at BuzzFlash on Supreme Court madness: Yet another right-wing nervous breakdown.

And Norm Jenson with Idiot Nation — the Right-Wing embraces Colbert as their hero

The End of the GOP Comics, at All Hat No Cattle.

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