“IN THE YEAR 2009, A TALL BLACK MAN WILL GIVE NOTRE DAME’S COMMENCEMENT SPEECH, CONVINCE THE CATHOLIC CHURCH TO ACCEPT ABORTION, AND LEAD THE FOOTBALL TEAM TO A BERTH IN THE BCS CHAMPIONSHIP GAME.”
"The Best Political REAM
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“IN THE YEAR 2009, A TALL BLACK MAN WILL GIVE NOTRE DAME’S COMMENCEMENT SPEECH, CONVINCE THE CATHOLIC CHURCH TO ACCEPT ABORTION, AND LEAD THE FOOTBALL TEAM TO A BERTH IN THE BCS CHAMPIONSHIP GAME.”
“WE ONLY AWARD HONORARY DEGREES TO INDIVIDUALS WHO HAVE INVENTED THE INTERNET.”
Story on the ASU Sun Devils here.
“WE FEEL THIS WOULD BE A BIG IMPROVEMENT OVER HIS CURRENT DEPENDENCE ON HIGHLY FLAMMABLE GAS.”
“NOW, I DON’T MEAN BOARDING THEIR WATERCRAFT, BUT ACTUALLY TORTURING THEM. NOT THAT I CARE ABOUT SAVING THE CAPTAIN, I JUST WANT HALLIBURTON TO RECOVER THE BURIED BAGHDAD TREASURE THAT WAS LOOTED FROM THEM.”
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BuzzFlash Editor Mark Karlin on Tales of the D.C. Elite “Village People.”
Lisa Casey on Bowing to the Saudi King.
Dan Kurtzman with the The Week in Political Cartoons.
“A WAR AGAINST PIRATES ON THE HIGH SEAS HAS TRADITIONALLY BEEN DEFINED AS BETWEEN LONELY SAILORS LIVING IN TIGHT QUARTERS WITH EACH OTHER FOR MONTHS, AND OVER-BLINGED BUCCANEERS WHO’VE HAD A BIT TOO MUCH RUM.”
“HOWEVER, WE MUST CAUTION YOU TO AVOID SENDING IN EARL GREY, SINCE IT’S OBVIOUS THAT OUR PARTY COMPLETELY LACKS ANY GREY MATTER.”
Lisa Casey on the Baghdad protest.
The Daily Show’s Full Metal Budget, at One Good Move.
Hitchens vs. Blackwell, on a Christian Nation? – at Crooks & Liars.
INTRODUCTORY QUESTION: WHY IS THIS DEMOCRATIC ADMINISTRATION GOING TO SUCCEED WHERE OTHERS HAVE FAILED?
1. Why is it that during all other recent Democratic Administrations we eat HUMBLE PIE, but during this Administrations we eat the GOP’s LUNCH?
2. Why is it that during all other recent Democratic Administrations, the GOP brands us as hippie/commie/vegetarians, but during this Administration overwhelming majorities would prefer even this to eating the GOP’s BITTER HERBS?
3. Why is it that during all other recent Democratic Administrations, we did not know how to handle the GOP dip-shits, but during this Administration we have learned how to dip the GOP dip-shits in their own bullshit at least twice a minute?
4. Why is it that that during all other recent Democratic Administrations, we were caught off-guard by GOP ATTACKS either sitting or reclining, but during this Administration we can easily kick their ass even while eating in a reclining position?
“I’M JUST FOLLOWING EXODUS, AND MAKING SURE I LET MY PEOPLE GO.”
“LIKE I’VE ALWAYS SAID, IN ORDER TO BAN GAY MARRIAGE, WE ACTUALLY NEED SOME JUDGES WHO RESPECT TRADITION … LIKE THAT FROM THE 8TH CENTURY.”
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Lisa Casey with an update on the infamous Shoe Thrower.
Top 5 Dubious Quotes From Prince Philip, at Apoliticus.
“OK, GUYS, I KNOW ALL YOU WANT IS A SOUVENIR, BUT IF YOU RETURN MY SIZE 12 COLE HAANS, THERE’LL BE NO QUESTIONS ASKED.”
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BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin Interviews Rick Perlstein: Barry Goldwater Plumbs the Depths of the Conservative Movement.
The Daily Show’s Queer Eye for the Hawkeye, at One Good Move.
Juan Cole: Obama in Iraq Again Pledges Troop Withdrawal.
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