“WELL, THE MARKET HAD SOME GIDDYUP TODAY. AND HERE’S HOPING THE OBAMA PLAN WORKS, ‘CAUSE MY BOYS NEED A HOUSE, AND I DON’T WANNA’ STOP AT THE DUTY FREE SHOP.”

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Norm Jenson with Jon Stewart and In Cramer We Trust, and Dan Kurtzman has the Roundup of Jon Stewart vs. Jim Cramer: Round 2.

BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin: CNBC Hypes Its Owner, General Electric, As GE’s Performance and Stock Plummet.

Satirical Obamicon Posters at All Hat No Cattle.

“COME THE FUTURE, THE REPUBLICAN PARTY WILL BE SO BROKEN, IT WON’T EVEN BE RIGHT TWICE A CENTURY.”

Story here.

“UNLESS WE CAN FIGURE OUT WHAT CAUSES IDIOTIC STEM CELLS, THE ENTIRE FUTURE OF SCIENTIFIC ADVANCEMENT IS AT RISK.”

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More Science Wars: Norm Jenson with Richard Dawkins’ Response to Oklahoma yahoos.

Lisa Casey on Reading Rush’s lips.

Madkane on An Up Side To Filing Tax Returns.

“AS SOON AS THEY ASKED FOR SASHA AND MALIA’S SWINGSET, IT WAS A CLEAR SIGN I HAD TO SAY ALL BETS ARE OFF.”

“HELLO, MY NAME IS RUSH LIMBAUGH. WHILE I’M NOT  AS FAT AND OLD AS I USED TO BE, I CAN ASSURE YOU I’M JUST AS IGNORANT AND MISGUIDED.”

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BLOGWORTHIES:

BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin: Wall Street on Welfare: The Trillion Dollar Tab for Riverboat Gamblers on the Dole.

But Lisa Casey asks: Who says Wall Street’s not thankful?

“WHAT DO YOU EXPECT? — IT’S THE FIRST TIME I’VE EVER BEEN GREETED WITH AN ‘EASY BUTTON’ AS A STAPLE OF A DIPLOMATIC RELATIONSHIP.”

The real story.

“WELL BEFORE RUSH PASSES, AND THANKS TO HIM, THE REPUBLICAN PARTY WILL BE DEAD.”

Media Matters with the Video.

“SO WE NOW EXPECT THAT A-ROD WILL NOT MISS ANY TIME AT ALL, AND ACTUALLY SMASH THE RECORD BOOKS WITH ABOUT 139 HOME RUNS THIS YEAR.”

“I DARE SAY, SIR, THAT YOUR SUPPORT OF EXPANSION OF SLAVERY INTO THE TERRITORIES, SUGGESTS THAT YOU ARE STILL UNDER THE SPELL OF THE DEVIL OXYCONTIN.”

[Story at Politico.]

Lisa Casey with a recommended Obama response.

And Madkane asks about GOP Steele-Buyers’ Remorse.

“NOW, YOU GOTTA’ GO OUT AND BUY SHARES OF JON STEWART — THE ONLY ONE WHO’S GOT THE BALLS TO LAY ‘BARE’ THE ‘BULLSHIT’ THAT MY FELLOW COMMENTATORS AND I HAVE BEEN TOSSING OUT OVER THE LAST YEAR.”

BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin with kudos to Jon Stewart: Devastates CNBC and Its Destructive Boosterism of Failed Wall Street Scams.

Norm Jenson has the Stewart skewer of CNBC here.