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The Satirical Political Report

"The Best Political REAM
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February 16th, 2009

GOP Goes With Aerosmith Theme, But Shoulda’ Picked THESE Songs

“WE’RE CRAZY, DREAMING ON, LIVIN’ ON THE EDGE, PLAYING ON THE SWEET EMOTION OF OUR BASE, AND ACTING LIKE THE BLIND MAN TRYING TO SELL THE SAME OLD SONG AND DANCE, SO WE CAN GET THE AMERICAN PEOPLE TO WALK THIS WAY OVER THE CLIFF.”

Sam Stein at HuffPost with the “Back In The Saddle” story.

February 16th, 2009

Historians: Dubya Actually THE WORST President, But ‘Ranking’ Affected by Steroids

“BUSH ACTUALLY BROKE ALL OF THE RECORDS FOR THE BIGGEST FUCK-UPS, BUT WE HAD TO DISCOUNT SOME OF HIS RECKLESS STUPIDITY DUE TO ’ROID RAGE. DON’T FORGET, HE CAME DIRECTLY OUT OF THE CULTURE OF MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL.”

Story on the C-Span Presidential Rankings.

Obama’s Choice: FDR’s First 100 Days or Lincoln’s Team of Rivals – by Mark Karlin of BuzzFlash.

Madkane asks: Obama Hasn’t Fixed Everything Yet? What’s Taking Him So Long?

Norm Jenson with the The Sunday Funnies, and Dan Kurtzman’s The Week in Political Cartoons.

February 15th, 2009

SNL Shoulda’ Used OLD Dan Akroyd Character to Lampoon GOP

“AY! YA’ KNOW WHAT I MEAN … AND HERE’S A REAL POPULAR TOY THAT THE REPUBLICANS WANT TO GIVE EVERY AMERICAN KID — IT’S CALLED BAG-O-GLASS.”

The Real skit here:

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BLOGWORTHIES:

Lisa Casey’s GOP Pyramid Scheme.

P.M. Carpenter at BuzzFlash: GOP Vampires to stalk the airwaves in even greater swarms.

Dan Kurtzman with the rumored Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream Flavors for Bush.

February 15th, 2009

Contrary to NY Times, Eric Cantor is NOT in the Gingrich Mold

“LISTEN, GUYS, NEWT ONLY THREW A HISSY FIT ABOUT BEING IN THE BACK OF THE PRESIDENTIAL PLANE; WE ACTUALLY WENT ONE STEP FURTHER AND JUMPED OUT … WITHOUT A PARACHUTE.”

Story at NY Times.

February 14th, 2009
February 13th, 2009

GOP Members Stimulate their Members During Stimulus Vote

“NEVER LET IT BE SAID, AT THIS TIME OF NATIONAL CRISIS, THAT THE GOP MERELY SAT ON THEIR HANDS.”

February 13th, 2009
February 13th, 2009

Judd Gregg to Serve as Pope’s Spokesman for ‘Premature Withdrawal’

“ACTUALLY, THE WAY THAT SONUVABITCH BENEDICT ARNOLD HAS ACTED, I’M STARTING TO RECONSIDER THE CHURCH’S BAN ON ABORTION.”

February 12th, 2009

Obama’s Revenge: Vows Not to Count Judd Gregg in 2010 Census

“I’VE HAD IT UP TO HERE WITH THESE GOP BACK-STABBING WEASELS — NOW IT’S TIME FOR ME TO MAKE THEM LITERALLY DISAPPEAR.”

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BLOGWORTHIES:

P.M. Carpenter nails the math with Gregg + Bipartisanship = Zero.

BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin interviews Greg Mitchell on the Obama Victory, and the Vital Role Played by the New Media.

Happy Birthday Charles Darwin, via Norm Jenson.

February 12th, 2009

GOP Celebrates Lincoln By Celebrating John Wilkes Booth

“NOT ONLY WAS HE A CHAMPION OF STATES’ RIGHTS, BUT HE ALSO TAUGHT US TO KEEP ON SHOOTING EVEN AFTER WE LOST.”

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BLOGWORTHIES:

Lisa Casey’s preview of what “Desperate Elephants” do.

John Amato at C&L, with the question, and answer, on the “missing TV economists.”

Juan Cole on the Taliban Attack on Kabul.

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