In another episode that can only be characterized as Bushfeld: The War About Nothing, the Iraqi government has decided to celebrate the five-year anniversary of the U.S. invasion by “re-gifting” the “democracy” given to it by the Bush Administration.

Standing amidst the ruins of the Iraqi Defense Ministry in downtown Baghdad, Prime Minister Nuri al-Maliki explained that they first tried to “de-gift” democracy back to the U.S. under a “grace” period, but quickly learned that the Administration had no grace.” Said Maliki, “They don’t have grace, they don’t want grace … they don’t even say grace.”

“Besides,” Maliki added, “it’s clear Bush and Cheney themselves have tried to re-gift the democracy that was left to them by their predecessors.”

As a result, Iraq has desperately tried to “re-gift” democracy to some of its regional neighbors, such as the Saudis, Syrians, Palestinians and Iranians, but found no takers.

In fact, Ahmadinejad of Iran denied that democracy has ever existed, asserting that “it was merely a fiction invented by the Jews to justify their take-over of Palestine.”

As a result, Iraq, led by its powerful Shiite clerics, is now attempting to return its democracy for a theocracy, having had the foresight to hold on to the receipt.

Looking back on the whole failed gift of democracy, one Baghdad resident, who lost his job, house and half of his family to sectarian violence, said: “To tell you the truth, I woulda’ been perfectly happy with a labelmaker.”