“I’M VERY PLEASED TO ANNOUNCE MY APPOINTMENT TO FILL BARACK OBAMA’S SENATE SEAT: PATRICK J. FITZGERALD.” 

“EVEN RICHARD NIXON IS TURNING OVER IN HIS GRAVE.”

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BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin on Blagojevich’s Delusional Senate Appointment.

Dubya’s New Year’s Resolution, at All Hat No Cattle.

“I OUTSMARTED THEM AGAIN – HOW THEY GONNA’ REJECT A CHICACO CUB IN THIS TOWN. BESIDES, IF HE GETS TIRED, I CAN ALWAYS COME IN TO RELIEVE HIM.”

“FORGET THE OLD MAN GIVING WAY TO THE BABY, THIS YEAR IT’S THE MAN-CHILD GIVING WAY TO THE MAN.”

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BLOGWORTHIES:

Lisa Casey on the Backwards Christian Soldier.

And speaking of Bush-Damage, Where Was George H. W. Bush on November 22, 1963 – at BuzzFlash.

Obama: “I Agree” With Senate Dems On Not Seating Burris - at TPM Election Central.

“I WISH PRESIDENT-ELECT OBAMA THE BEST OF LUCK, BUT ACCORDING TO SCRIPTURES, EVEN THE MESSIAH COULDN’T FIX THE MESS I’M LEAVING HIM IN.”

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BLOGWORTHIES:  

Sen. Bernie Sanders at BuzzFlash: Where Do We Go from Here?

Lisa Casey on the new weapon in the arsenal of democracy: Viagra.

Paul Krugman’s Fifty Herbert Hoovers, at One Good Move.

Dan Kurtzman’s Top 50 Funny Pictures of 2008.

Citing ‘Change’ Over ‘Experience,’ Angry Electorate Votes to Replace God

‘3 A.M. Phone Call Ad’ Wins Hillary the Presidency, of OnStar

Baseball Decrees the Steroid Age the ‘Shrunken Ball Era’

The Legend of Fred Thompson: A Politician Turned Actor Who Couldn’t Play a Candidate on TV

Evangelicals Claim Prop 8 Protects the Sanctity of Marriages Performed by Elvises in Vegas Chapels

Accused in Hate Crime Plea Bargains Down to ‘Spite’

Famed Photog Annie Leibovitz Uses Negatives to Capture McCain’s Campaign

Iraq Celebrates 5th Anniversary by Re-Gifting Democracy

Rudy Giuliani Reveals His Feet Are Two Different Sizes: a ‘9′ and an ‘11′

Co-Founder of Slinky Dies, After Falling Down Steps

Pollsters Admit Flaws in Methodology: ‘Exit Polls’ Conducted at Entrances

Sarah Palin Touts Her Experience as a ‘Closet Organizer’

Satirists Riot Over The New Yorker Obama Cartoon

Americans Strongly Believe in God, But One That Only Controls the Outcome of Sporting Events

Due to Snowstorm, Premature Ejaculation Clinic Operating on a 5 Minute Delay

Huckabee Declares He’s Ready to be President From ‘Day Six,’ Literally

Spitzer Scandal Spurs Call for Reform: Public Financing of Hookers

Christian Right Condemns Gay Adoption of Highways

FOX News Blames Obama for Nigerian Spam

Time-Life Issues the Definitive Collection of ‘Bush Scandals’

Sarah Palin Establishes a New ‘Crack in the WOODEN FLOOR’

Stood Up by ‘Joe the Plumber,’ McCain Campaigns with ‘Janitor in a Drum’

Iraqi Shoe Thrower Receives a ‘Seinfeld Sentence’ — Has to Serve as Bush’s Butler (and Shoeshine man)

A Sign of the Times: E*Trade Baby Leaps to Death From His Crib

McCain Claims ‘Multiple House Story’ Helps Him With Mormons

Sarah Palin Takes Phone Call from Napoleon Bonaparte

U.S. Finally Greeted as Liberators, by Wall Street

Lesson Learned: Auto Executives Make Return Trip to D.C. in Flintstones Car

An Ominous Sign for the GOP: Even Mars Turns Blue

Bush’s ‘Mission Accomplished’ Finally Realized: Iraq in Better Shape Than U.S.

Sarah Palin’s Greatest ‘Gift’ to America: Ruining Thanksgiving

Treasury Gives Bailout to Sperm Banks, to Inject Liquidity Into Frozen Markets

Blagojevich, Preparing for the Worst, Plans to Sell His Own ‘Seat’ in Jail

Conspiracy Theory of ‘Second Shoe Thrower’ Raised by Abdul-liver Stone

Bernie Madoff’s Fraud Reaches Beyond Jewish Community: Ran Pyramid Scheme in Egypt

House of Tudor Lays Claim to Vacant NY Senate Seat

Cheney Voices Concern Biden Will Diminish the ‘Vice’ in Vice Presidency

GOP Realizes Its Worst Nightmare: Black Man Elected to Lead U.S. Out of The Dark Ages

“WE’RE CONCERNED THE VIAGRA IS BEING DIVERTED TO AL QAEDA AND THE TALIBAN. IN FACT, ALTHOUGH WE HAVE REPORTS THAT BIN LADEN IS NOW STANDING OUT HORIZONTALLY AS WELL AS VERTICALLY, WE STILL CAN’T CAPTURE THE SONUVABITCH.”

Story here.

BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin on a real prescription for this country: Establish Medicare Part “E” for All Americans Under the Age of 65.

Madkane on Banks To Taxpayers: Drop Dead!

Juan Cole on Top Ten Myths about Iraq, 2008.

Your complete entertainment guide at BartCop E!

“I’M A FIRM BELIEVER THAT THE ONLY TYPE OF BESTIALITY SHOULD BE BETWEEN ONE MAN AND ONE FEMALE FISH … I MEAN MAMMAL.

“THE MOVIE CHRONICLES THE CASE OF A CHILD WHO ‘GROWS’ INTO … A MAN-CHILD.”

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Dan Kurtzman has Your ‘08 Comedy Stimulus Package:
A Baleful Bailout Year in Revue

Permit me to inform you of my desire of going into business relationship with you. As a member of royalty of Upper East Side of Manhattan, East Hampton and Palm Beach, I must immediately transfer $50 billion to your bank account since I am being persecuted by my government, which has wrongly accused me of trying to kill off charities and college endowments.

I have selected your name among other names due to the fact that you are too reputable to trust anything you read in newspapers. I am also in dire need of your assistance since my own sons are working with the corrupt authorities in my country to poison my good name and reputation.

I have never made a bad trade, because I actually don’t do trades. Instead, I work with my esteemed business associates, the well-renowned Ponzi & Ponzi, Inc., who will ensure that you receive a 12% commission every year, regardless of poor market conditions or downturns in economic cycles.

How do I do it? Volume!

Anticipating to hear from you soon. Thanks and God Bless.

Very truly yours, Oluwalogbo Madoff

“SINCE SENATORS CORKER AND SHELBY OPPOSED MY REQUEST FOR A LOAN, LOOKS LIKE THE PRESENTS THIS YEAR ARE GONNA’ BE DELIVERED BY A FLEET OF TOYOTA TACOMAS.”